


A Lifetime of Vegeta

by GokuGirl



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Humor, Multi, Out of Character, POV First Person, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2000-05-24
Updated: 2002-03-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 23:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4411415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GokuGirl/pseuds/GokuGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of fics from Vegeta's POV. "A Day in the Life of Vegeta" & "A Week in the Life of Vegeta" are both complete. "A Month in the Life of Vegeta" is not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Day in the Life of Vegeta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not actually a fanfic, but it sets up all the other chapters so...

6:00 a.m. - Wake up. Complain about Earth. Take a shower. Get dressed.

6.30 a.m. - Go down for breakfast. Yell at Bulma to serve my food (I always regret this later). Go train in the gravity room.

12:00 p.m. - Time for lunch. Complain about Earth again. Eat, and then go back to training.

3:00 p.m. - Take a little break. See Bulma staring at me from her bedroom window. Smirk a little, then laugh as Bulma turns red and storms away (God I love making her mad!).

5:00 p.m. - My training is finished for today. Complain about Earth (As if you thought I wouldn't). Go inside to eat dinner. Yell at Bulma yet again (I really hate doing that). She yells at me and smacks me hard (for her). I think in pure bliss about how her hand touched me.

7:00 p.m. - I watch some t.v. Don't know why. These Earth shows are extremely stupid. Except one. As the World Turns, a soap opera. It always makes me cry (Don't tell anyone that!).

8:00 p.m. - I finally go to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow and train ya know! Bulma sneaks in and kisses me goodnight. She thought I was asleep. That kiss made me tingle all over. I think I love her.


	2. A Week in the Life of Vegeta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It starts off a little slow and boring, but it will get better. Trust me. And a day starts at either 6 or 7 am. In this Trunks is 8 and Goten's 7 it happens before the Majin Buu Saga, but Goku is alive in this one. If I accidentally switch to third person, I apologize. I'm used to writing third person stories. I also apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes.
> 
> [ ] = author inserts.

**Monday**

_**7:00am:**_ The woman is screaming for the brat to get up for school and it's  **really**  getting on my nerves. I get dressed and go downstairs to eat  **her**  food and hope I survive.

 

 _ **7:30am:**_ When I come down only Bulma says hello. Trunks ignores me. I don't think I'm  **that**  bad of a parent, am I?

 

 _ **8:00am:**_  Breakfast is over. Time to go train in the gravity room. Kakarott comes over again. One day I'm going to win in a sparring match. I just have to have patience.

 

 _ **12:00pm:**_ I break for lunch. Bulma's working so I get my own. Somehow, a huge fire starts and I put it out. She won't notice the burn mark on the wall, I hope.

 

 _ **12:45pm:**_ Back to training. In the wilderness this time. I don't want to be home when she sees the kitchen. Kakarott shows up and we spar, again. I almost got him this time, I'm really close.

 

 _ **2:30pm:**_ Trunks comes home from school. He's all beat up and his only explanation was 'Me and Goten were sparring on the playground'.

 

 _ **3:00pm:**_ It's time for the brat and I to train. He's getting better, but he's still no where near a match for me.

 

 _ **6:00pm:**_ We stop so Trunks could do his homework. I go and watch some t.v.

 

 _ **6:30pm:**_ Time for dinner. Bulma says she made chicken and rice, but when other people make it the chicken is pinkless and the rice is soft.

 

 _ **7:00pm:**_ Bulma's packing for a business trip to Italy to negotiate deals. This is going to be the last time I see her for a couple of days.

 

 _ **9:00pm:**_ She finally finished packing, ordering me around, & making sure everything was going to be okay. She's so tired out that she falls asleep.

 

 _ **9:30pm:**_ I'm bored so I decide to have some fun. As I was walking out onto the balcony, she wakes up.

"Vegeta! Get your short ass back in here!"

 

 ** _1 0:00pm:_** I slipped some extra strength sleeping powder in some tea I brought to her. She's gonna be sleep until morning, guaranteed. I tried to walk out again, but she woke up! Damn dollar store medicine.

 

 **Tuesday**  

 _ **6:00am:**_ Bulma woke me up complaining about how she needs to go shopping for clothes. I tell her to shut up and leave. She gets mad and goes off and I tune her out after she gets to my family descendants and just walked away. In the hallway, Trunks looks at me, shakes his head, and goes back into his room.

 

 _ **6:45am:**_ Bulma's all ready to go and we go with her to the airport. She drives the capsule car and somehow persuades us to ride with her. We almost hit 3 trees, an old man, and 5 parked cars. I am NEVER going to do that again.

 

 _ **7:30am:**_ We had to go all the way to the Tokyo Airport and before she left, I ALMOST HUGGED HER! I can't believe this! I'm getting soft.

 

 ** _10:00am:_** Trunks and I got back home. Would have been sooner if he hadn't have wanted to stop at Disneyland. At least it was free.

 

 _ **10:15am:**_ Trunks left for a half day of school. I went to train.

 

 _ **10:30am:**_ I was at it less than 15 minutes when I heard the phone ring. I had to go down to his school because something had happened.

 

 _ **11:05am:**_ I marched in screaming "Where is the brat and what has he done now?" The principal told me that he & Kakarott's brat had gotten into a fight and when I said so, he looked at me like I was crazy. "Where is he so I can go?"

"Oh he's not here. He's at the hospital."

 

 _ **12:30pm:**_ At the Satan City Memorial hospital. Trunks is not all that beat up. He has only a broken hand, several fractured ribs, and a slight concussion. Nothing serious. Now Goten, that's a whole other story.

 

 ** _1:35pm:_** They released him. I had to as Kakarott for some senzu beans and then I asked my son what happened.

"I kind of wanted him to do something that would break a school rule." I gave him a look. "Okay several. When he said no I told him how much of a baka his father was." I gave him another look. "Well it's true! Anyway, he said that you were an arrogant SOB who couldn't be nice if Satan himself threatened you." Oh yeah I could. But not before old Satan had gotten a little hurt first.

 

 _ **2:00pm:**_ Great. I'm officially bored. This time I can go and have some fun and loud, pushy women like Bulma can't stop me.

 

 _ **2:15pm:**_ I arrived at the Dollar Palace. I gotta get them for having cheap products that don't work. Cheap stuff sure does burn fast.

 

 _ **2:30pm:**_ I stop by Mc Donald's for a quick snack. Those fools actually think that a couple of Big Mac Extra Value Meals would satisfy my hunger. I gave them 10 minutes to get more, it's not my fault it was reduced to a crater.

 

 ** _3:00pm:_** I returned home to find Trunks gone. He and that boy sure do make up quick. I decide to train some more. You can never be too strong and besides, Kakarott deserves to die soon.

 

 _ **6:00pm:**_ Time to eat. Too bad the woman isn't here. I can't believe I'm missing  **her**  cooking! I really must be desperate. When Trunks came home, we tried, but two Saiyans in a kitchen is a disaster waiting to happen. This time not only did more burn marks get added to the walls, but we got into a food fight broke all of the dishes, and various handprints were decorating the house. Hey, at least we had fun.

 

 ** _10:00pm:_** We left everything like it was before and went and trained. We were still hungry. That’s okay, there has to be something still open.

 

 _ **12:00am:**_ We still haven't found any place. Ah, I see one. Billy Bob's Redneck Roadkill. Okay... What's roadkill?

 

 _ **12:15am:**_ Nevermind what I said before, I shouldn't have asked myself that. My son and I arrived inside only to discover that we shouldn't have even considered this place an option. For one, the menu's had items on them like Possum Surprise and Frog a la Flat and the people! Their plaid flannel shirts and overalls were really ugly.

 

 _ **1:45am:**_ Our food took forever to come. The waiter said it was because it was early in the morning and that I should come by around rush hour. I'm not even going to think about that!

 

 _ **2:30am:**_ Trunks and I finally stop vomiting. I didn't think that anything could mess with a Saiyans system. I was wrong.

 

 _ **3:00am:**_ Trunks went to bed. He has school tomorrow after all. I sit and think, "Can my life get any worse than this?"

 

**Wednesday**

**_6:00am:_** Another day, but I have to fix breakfast. I roll my eyes. Wonderful! I can't cook so I go back to sleep.

 

 _ **7:30am:**_ I get up for real this time. Trunks has already gone to school. He had about 9 bowls of cereal. I love the fact that he has survival skills.

 

 _ **8:00am:**_ After digging up something edible, I turn around to find Kakarott standing there! I stand corrected, my life can and DID get worse. He had that usual stupid smile on his face, but this time he had a turkey leg in his hand that he promptly finished off seconds after his arrival.

"You wanna spar?"

"Sure."

 

 ** _12:30pm:_** We stop for two reasons 1) It's lunch time and 2) I can't get back up. I remember about Bulma's unlucky dishes so after I recover, I go to the Satan City department store and drag Kakarott along.

 

 _ **1:15pm:**_ At the store, a man is showing me plates, saucers, silverware, glasses, cups, and other stuff because he says I have to "accessorize". I only want something that won't break so easily so me and Kakarott perform a test. We drop plates on the tile floor to check, finally we come across one kind that doesn't shatter upon impact.

"That's our new "impossible to break" model. Perfect for you!" the salesman tells us.

So I pay for a complete set and also all of the other stuff I broke with my Capsule Corp. Express card then I go get it gift wrapped. Valentines Day is coming up and I know I don't want a repeat of what happened last year. I don't have a death wish.

 

 ** _2:00pm:_** I stash the present in Kakarott's house until V-Day so I can surprise her. I also go to the jewelry store. This will make up for all the things I have done to her over the years and the little incident of trying to blow up the planet when I first came. I also am going to have Kakarott's mate cook dinner for us. [for last years Valentine's Day account read Valentine's Day disaster]

 

 _ **3:00pm:**_ I go home to find Trunks and Goten jumping on our king size water bed! They start to run when I came into the room, but I decided to join in! I don't know what came over me, but I don't regret it. We jumped for about 10 minutes until the bed started groaning. The next thing we knew, we were on the floor. Great! Now I go back to the store, again!

 

 ** _3:30pm:_** I'm now at the Satan City Dept. store. Water beds sure are expensive, but then again it's not my money. I have the brat and his friend come along too. We're going to "test" this item as well.

 

 _ **4:46pm:**_ Six beds later we had finally found one worth it. For some reason, the same salesman was in this department too.

"Oh no! NO! Not you again! We must get some more unbreakable stuff for your kind." he cried when he saw us.

I got tired of him and sent him to see that florist. [see V-Day Disaster]

 

 _ **5:30pm:**_ We're back at the Capsule Corp. (Goten too) I think I went over my credit limit. How am I going to explain this to Bulma when the statement comes?

 

 _ **6:00pm:**_ Time for dinner. Goten cooks and he can pretty well, for a seven year old that is. But hey, that's better that Bulma.

 

 ** _6:45pm:_** I'm beating Trunks at Mortal Kombat. Goten is going to play the winner. Then the phone rang and while I'm distracted, I get KO'ed by Johnny Cage. It's Bulma. She says she finished early and that she would be back in a couple of hours. OH SHIT! We have to clean this house! She must have used her satellite cell phone from the plane. She's probably more that half-way here by now.

"We have to get this house cleaned now!" I yell to Trunks and Goten.

 

 ** _7:00pm:_** We start with the living room. All of the furniture was righted and the dirt was scrubbed from the wallpaper and the dust sucked up from the carpet with the vacuum.

 _ **8:00pm:**_ "Trunks, how would you like Goten to sleep over tonight?"

"That'll be great!" Trunks said joyfully.

"Thanks Vegeta-sama!" Goten said.

The extra help would be greatly appreciated. We move on to the kitchen. Now that I think about it, it would have been better to wash dishes AFTER every meal. We get the bread crumbs, egg shells, candy wrappers, milk cartons, and all the dirty silverware [no dishes remember] cleaned up. It took us 10 dishwasher loads.

 

 _ **9:00pm:**_ We move on to the huge piles of dirty clothes [after the food fight, training clothes, etc.] washing them shouldn't be too hard. I was wrong, as always. I know I only added one scoop of detergent. That still doesn't explain how a waterfall of bubbles and soapy water cascaded down the side of the washer.  After we got the mess mopped up, After that, we threw the load into the super-large washer.

 

 _ **9:30pm:**_ Oops. We used a tad too much heat. Now everything is micro-sized. If Bulma and I ever decide to have another kid, at least I won't have to spend hours at the Children's Boutique.

 _ **11:00pm:**_ Finally everything's in tip-top shape. She comes in around this time too. I'm lying on the couch with the two brats asleep on me. It's not because I'm going soft, I'm just too tired to get up. That's all. I pick them up and put them in Trunks' room. Now it's time for a little fun. I've missed the midnight recreation.

 

 

**Thursday**

_**7:00am:**_ It's complete and utter chaos at breakfast this morning and too bad it's parent-teacher conference day so no school and she's making me go! I don't want to praise my brat with other love-stricken idiots who think that their offspring can do no wrong.

 _ **8:00am:**_ We just  **have**  to go clothes shopping for the conference tonight in Bulma's opinion. Well, when we go, guess who's there too? You got it! Kakarott and his dysfunctional family. I'm about to ask can my life get any worse again, but I already know it can and will.  Bulma forces me to walk with them. Kakarott came and put his arm around my shoulders.

"Hey Vegeta! How are you doing today?" he asks me.

I growl in response. "Do you still want your arm to function correctly, baka?" He moves it smiling sheepishly.

Bulma leads us to... the Satan City Department Store! Oh, no! Not here! I glance at Goten and Trunks and both have terrified looks on their faces.

"Uh, can't we go to another store, say in Tokyo?" I plead.

"This is the best multi-purpose store in town and it's stupid to travel that far!" she replies. She goes in followed by ChiChi, Gohan, and Kakarott.

"Let's go." I whisper to the kids. We start to creep away when all of a sudden, the two women stick their heads back out of the store and gives us looks that could melt Antarctica. All three of us sigh, defeated and follow behind with our heads down.

 

 ** _8:05am:_** We're in the kids' clothes. Good, stay far, far away from the tableware and furniture. Trunks and Goten pick out clothes in a hurry, but unfortunately it would have been better if they matched. ChiChi and Bulma looked on in disbelief and picked something themselves. In my opinion, what the boys had was better. [think about what Gohan had on when they first went to Namek for Goten and a khaki pants and blue + tan striped shirt outfit for Trunks. Bulma's not as clueless as ChiChi] Trunks quickly decided that it would be better to tolerate his, but Goten got mad when his dad and brother started to snicker.

"No mom! I refuse to where this!" Goten shouted about to go into a temper tantrum. Kakarott pulled Goten aside.

"Let her get that now and we'll come back later for something you like. Okay?"

"Sure dad!" and he hugged him. That's soooo sweet! Yeah right. They should have just made him wear that hideous outfit instead of reason with him.

 

 ** _8:20am:_** We go to the nearest checkout, but no one is there. The next one over is in...Oh Kami! Not tableware!

"Let's go Vegeta!" Bulma said trying to drag me over there.

"Uh, Bulma. How about I go and wait for you at the Big and Tall or Short and Small men's store?"

"Nonsense. Come on!" I followed. Defeated by a foe no one could even hope to conquer.

 _ **8:25am:**_ I try to stall as much as possible, but I soon find out that it's hopeless. The boys and I try to hide our faces. Even Kakarott is looking rather nervous by now.

"Yes can I help- It's you! What do you want now? A whole new living room to destroy?" a saleslady asked.

"What is she talking about Vegeta?"

"Er, nothing. Nothing at all!" I say shakily.

"Ma'am, is this your husband?" After Bulma nodded she continued. "Your husband came into here earlier today and yesterday. Once with that spiky-haired man for some dishes and again with the two little ones for a waterbed. He dropped the dishes on the floor to test him and he ran another test with the beds by jumping on them! I personally didn't serve them, but I saw the whole thing both times." Bulma gave me another look, about 100 times worse. Had she been around during Earth's Ice Age, the planet would have been Sea World!

"Did you do something at home that resulted in you having to replace some dishes and a bed?" Bulma asked me.

"No." I say as quickly as I could. Then I remember the bond. Damn! Either way it goes, she'll know the truth.  "Yes, but it was purely accidental.

She then turns her burning gaze to Kakarott and the two brats. "Goku, Goten, Trunks what happened?" There nerves broke. 

"I went with him to buy the plates, but I  **did not**  break anything!" Goku said terrified.

Bulma nodded. "What about you two?"

"The only thing I did break was the waterbed, but it wouldn't have if Vegeta-sama hadn't of joined in!" Goten said. Bulma shot a glance at me and turned to the last culprit.

"Mom, I broke the dishes and was involved in the bed thing but Dad helped too! The dishes wouldn't have gotten broken if he hadn't of thrown that roll at me and the bed would not have had to be replaced if Dad hadn't jumped too. He's as guilty as Goten and I, but maybe more so. I'm sorry and so is Goten." He elbowed his friend when he remained silent. "Sure! I'm sorry Bulma-san!" Goten piped up. Trunks, his little speech now finished, grabbed Goten's arm and followed Goku to a restaurant. Gohan and ChiChi, now sensing danger, paid then quickly left to go find the others, but not before Gohan got a snicker in.

 

 _ **8:30am:**_ I try to escape an ultimate tongue lashing, but to no avail.

"VEGETA, WHAT IN KAMI'S NAME POSSESSED YOU TO BREAK MY DISHES AND JOIN THE KIDS IN JUMPING ON MY BED?! YOU BAKA!" she's starting to give me a headache. I start to walk away. "YOU BETTER NOT WALK AWAY FROM ME!" I keep going, heading for the buffet Kakarott and Co. went into.

 

 _ **9:00am:**_ She finally stopped screaming at me and started on Trunks, who looked to me for help. I just shrug and give him a smirk. He continued looking pitiful until I finally caved in. "Woman, we replaced your stuff and personally, I think it's better so just SHUT UP!" She gave me another glare, that this time I ignored.

 

 _ **10:14am:**_ Everybody's done eating and it was time for me and Kakarott to get fussed over like an American Thanksgiving turkey. We made our way over, after Bulma paid, to Big and Tall or Short and Small Menswear down the hall from the Dept. store. Bulma made it her mission to get some clothes that looked good (to her) so after a salesperson helped Kakarott, she had already grabbed an armload of clothing and was currently prodding me toward the dressing room.

"You better hurry up!" I sighed and put on the first outfit. Some blue dockers and a tan and blue plaid shirt. I opened the door.

"Lookin' good!" I roll my eyes. "Now turn around." Kakarott walked by us.

"Nice! Keep that one."

"Goku, get back here!" ChiChi yelled at him. Bulma smothers a laugh and I decide to get it and leave.

 

 _ **11:00am:**_ We get back home and I swear I'll NEVER go shopping with that woman again! I decide to watch some t.v. on our big screen using the 765 channel satellite dish that picks up signals from other solar systems. Most of the time I can't understand it, but it's still funny. My favorite show is coming on, Cooking with Ki, in a seven hour marathon. 14 episodes of the joy of being a master chef. I need to learn this skill just in case Bulma gets sneaky with what she puts in my meals.

 

 ** _4:00pm:_** Time to start to get ready. I change my clothes and make sure Trunks is ready so that the woman couldn't say anything. I also decide to go downstairs for a little snack.

 

 ** _4:15pm:_** It takes a little while to actually get there because on the way, Bulma yells at me for just throwing my previous clothes on the bed. Since I hadn't had a good argument in a while, I decide to pause and comment on her cooking, looks, and how she seemed to be gaining weight. After she slapped me,  I continued on my way. When I make it to the kitchen, only then do I remember that WE NEVER WENT FOOD SHOPPING! I sit down at the table and ask myself, "Why me?"

 

 _ **4:30pm:**_ Bulma decides that it's time to go so off to the Satan City Academy.

"Yea!" I say sarcastically.

When we get there, I'm greeted by Kakarott’s stupid smiling face.

"Hey Vegeta! Guess what?"

"What you third class loser?"

"They have free food!"

I cheer up at this and a smile slowly spreads across my face.

"Free food?" I repeat. "Free food!" I run inside and sure enough, there was a couple of buffet tables piled high with goodies. "This makes this all worthwhile!" Kakarott nods as he joins me in quiet awe. We happily start to load plates with delectable. The other adults turned away in disgust.

 

 _ **5:00pm:**_ The conference is fully underway as Bulma dragged me to the brats teacher, Mr. Mathews. I was just going back for fifths too! Damn. Now I have to listen to him go on and on about how bad my son is. As if Bulma and I didn't know. Kakarott, ChiChi, and the little Kakarott look-alike showed up. [it's a second grade/third grade split class] and we found out lots of things that those two had done; like how they put a frog in the principal's desk, how Trunks charged kids admission to see the worlds dumbest child (Goten), how they both burped the Japan's national anthem on the P.A. system, and lots of other things. The whole thing took an hour and a half and by this time, Kakarott was snoring away and I was dozing off and leaning back in my chair. All of a sudden a loud noise startled me. I lost my balance and hit the floor. Everybody was laughing and I soon discovered that Bulma had slammed a book down on the desk to wake me up. Kakarott was also jolted out of slumber. He jumped up screaming, "Who's trying to kill us now?" then he looked around and started to blush heavily. It was my turn to have someone to laugh at.

"Thank you for your time." I told the teacher as I grabbed my son and tried to get out as fast as I could. "I'll punish him..." I gave Bulma a look. "at  **HOME**." We leave soon after that. 

"Good job in Science, Goten." Kakarott said giving him a hug.

"Thanks Dad."

"You'll get something special when we get home."

I snort and look at that big baka. "You're kid only got a good grade in Science. Trunks got  **ALL**  A's. He's still smarter than Goten." Bulma and ChiChi both rolled their eyes and walked away.

"Yeah!" Trunks agreed.

"Whatever. My Goten is nicer than Trunks."

"Well, my Trunks is stronger than your Goten."

"Uh, well at least Goten's father isn't evil!"

"What?!" I jumped at Kakarott, turned Super Saiyan and tried to land a punch to his jaw. Kakarott also went Super Saiyan and rose to the challenge. We fought for an awfully long time and I almost had him with a Final Flash, but he dodged it at the last minute.

"What's going on here?" Bulma yelled out. I froze and Kakarott knocked me out of the sky.

"Goku, stop that right now!" ChiChi added.

Kakarott stopped and grinned sheepishly while I got back off of the ground.

"What happened?" Bulma asked. I remembered what happened on Valentine's Day of the previous year and I also remembered that I owed him a favor.

"I started this. It's all my fault." Everybody was staring at me in stunned silence. "What?" I asked.

"You actually apologized! It's a miracle!" Bulma exclaimed.

"Yeah, well..."

"Leave Vegeta alone. He did it because he wanted to. That's all." Kakarott spoke up. I looked at him gratefully.

"I don't know about you bakas, but I'm going home." I left. Now I owe that third class loser ANOTHER favor. How much lower can my life get? At least tomorrow I can make Bulma happy and get a really good "reward".

 

 ** _6:00pm:_** I went to bed. I have to make sure to get up before Bulma and plan out the dinner and everything.

 

**Friday-Valentine's Day**

_**6:00am:**_ I hurry to shower and get dressed so that I can get over to Kakarott's house. I wonder why Bulma didn't wake up this time? When I get there, knocking on the door does not work.

 

 _ **6:20am:**_ It's now 20 minutes later and I'm still not in. I go to their partly open bedroom window. I knock on the sill. Well, I guess the light outside wasn't too good because Kakarott's mate sat up, looked in my direction, and dove behind the bed screaming, "Goku! There's a stranger looking in the window!" Kakarott remained asleep. "The world's about to end!" Nothing. "Cell's back!" Still nothing. "DINNER!" This got a reaction. Kakarott sat straight up, hitting is head on the headboard in the process. Books, videos, figurines, and ChiChi's Anger Management and You self-improvement kit fell onto his head. I start laughing. He yawned and stretched.

"What are we having?" ChiChi grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the floor.

"Shhh. Look at the window." I'm getting  **really**  impatient by now. I knock again. Kakarott with his Saiyan eyes looked in my direction.

"That's not a stranger, it's Vegeta!" He walked over to the window and opened it. I climbed in. "Why didn't you use the front door?"

"I knocked forever and nobody ever answered. And please put on some clothes!" I walked into the kitchen, leaving a blushing baka behind. Goten was already there drinking a Coke and soon Gohan came out too.

"ChiChi, can you cook some French food like French Fries and French Toast. Bulma loves French food."

"Uh Vegeta, that's not really French. Even I know that!" Kakarott leaned down and whispered confidently. "It's German." Everybody facevaulted including me. After we got back up, ChiChi says she'll see what she can do and starts to open cabinets and getting strange smelling spices out onto the counter. I walk into the living room with Goku, Gohan, and Goten following.

"Look." I said as we got into the living room. "I know you don't want me to get yelled at. Bulma is scary sometimes. I'm just too princely to have to go through that." Those two stupid Sons and one other looked at me and burst out laughing.

"It's not funny." I muttered. "Back to the subject. I want to have a picnic, a picnic under the stars. So I need a basket, some candles, a blanket, tableware, etc."

"Okay! We got it all covered including the other presents to be wrapped." Kakarott said while his brats nodded.

"Good. I'm counting on you. If I get verbally, physically, or emotionally abused over this, I  **will**  return it to you ten-fold, but Kakarott, only five-fold." I walked away and sat down to watch some more t.v. There wasn't much on so I searched through their videos.

"Armageddon, no. The Wedding Singer, no. Aladdin, no." I finally found one I liked and popped it in. After fast-forwarding past the previews I got to the beginning and started singing along.

"From the day we arrive on the planet and blinking, step into the sun. There's more to see, than can ever be seen; more to do than can ever be done. There's far too much to take in here, more to find than can ever be found. But the sun rolling high, through the sapphire sky, keeps great and small on endless round.

It's the Circle of Life! And it moves us all through despair and hope, through faith and love. Till we find our place on the path unwinding. It's the circle, the Circle of Life!"

All three Sons looked at me in amazement.

"What? Trunks has the movie and he watches it a lot. Besides, I like it!"

"You probably know the words to every song on there!" Kakarott said.

"Yeah, so what?"

They soon went back to planning. I watched and laughed along as Simba and Nala got into trouble.

 

 _ **6:25am:**_ "Vegeta, do you-" Gohan started.

"Shhh. My song's coming up.

I'm gonna be a mighty king  
So enemies beware!  
  
Well, I've never seen a king of beasts  
With quite so little hair  
  
I'm gonna be the main event  
Like no king was before  
I'm brushing up on looking down  
I'm working on my ROAR  
  
Thus far, a rather uninspiring thing  
  
Oh, I just can't wait to be king!  
You've rather a long way to go, young master,  
if you think...  
  
No one saying do this  
Now when I said that, I -  
No one saying be there  
What I meant was...  
No one saying stop that  
Look, what you don't realize...  
No one saying see here  
Now see here!  
  
Free to run around all day  
Well, that's definitely out...  
Free to do it all my way!  
  
I think it's time that you and I  
Arranged a heart to heart  
  
Kings don't need advice  
From little hornbills for a start  
  
If this is where the monarchy is headed  
Count me out!  
Out of service, out of Africa  
I wouldn't hang about  
This child is getting wildly out of wing. Oh I just can't wait to be king!"

I get up and start to dance too.

  
"Everybody look left  
Everybody look right  
Everywhere you look I'm  
Standing in the spotlight!  
  
Not yet!  
  
Let every creature go for broke and sing  
Let's hear it in the herd and on the wing  
It's gonna be King Simba's finest fling  
  
Oh, I just can't wait to be king!  
Oh, I just can't wait to be king!  
Oh, I just can't waaaaaait ... to be king!"

"Vegeta-san has finally lost it." Gohan whispered.

"If you think this is weird, just wait until Hakuna Matata!" Goten replied.

"C'mon guys! Back to the subject at hand. Gohan, you go and get the supplies, Goten you go and pack it then go with your brother to help set up. I'll stall Bulma until you are ready, okay?" Kakarott said.

I got tired of waiting for the other song so I fast-forwarded again. "Good! It's on!"

"Uh, oh!" Goten exclaimed.

"Hakuna Matata!  
What a wonderful phrase  
Hakuna Matata!  
Ain't no passing craze  
  
It means no worries  
For the rest of your days  
It's our problem-free philosophy  
Hakuna Matata!  
  
Why, when he was a young warthog...  
When I was a young wart hoooog!  
Very nice.  
Thanks!  
He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal  
He could clear the Savannah after every meal  
I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thick-skinned  
And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind  
And oh, the shame  
(He was ashamed!)  
Thoughta changin' my name  
Oh, what's in a name?  
And I got downhearted  
How did you feel?  
Ev'rytime that I...  
Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids!  
Oh... sorry.  
  
Hakuna Matata!  
What a wonderful phrase  
Hakuna Matata!  
Ain't no passing craze  
It means no worries  
For the rest of your days  
Yeah, sing it, kid!  
It's our problem-free  
philosophy...  
Hakuna Matata!  
  
Hakuna matata  
  
It means no worries  
For the rest of your days.  
It's our problem-free philosophy  
Hakuna Matata!" As I was singing it, I start dancing again. This time my audience is bigger because ChiChi came into the room. She saw me and started laughing hysterically.

"Hey! It's not that funny!" I cried.

"Oh yes it is! You should see yourself!" ChiChi said breathlessly, tears streaming down her face.

"She's right, you know!" Kakarott and sons were rolling on the ground with amusement.

"Whatever." I stop, my pride torn to shreds, and walked out. "I need to be getting home."

Kakarott sees me and stops. "We're sorry. You don't have to go if you don't want to."

"It's alright. By now, Bulma is probably wondering where I am." One cue, the phone rang.

"That's probably her." ChiChi answered it. "Moshi Moshi. Hi Bulma! What? Yes, I've seen him."

I motion for her not to tell her where I am.

"He's out sparring with Goku." pause. "I don't know." pause. "Yes I'll tell him to bring his behind home.(snicker) Okay, bye." She turned to me. "You know what she wants, but I'll give you this message also. She says that if you don't bring yourself home soon that she will hunt you down like the dog you are, beat you senseless, rip out your still-beating heart, show it to you, and laugh while you die. Then, afterwards, she would spit on your grave."

"Kami! Couldn't you have given a cleaner version?" Goten asked.

"That  **was**  the cleaner version! She added many other words that I can only  **question**  their meaning!" She went back to the kitchen.

"I think I will be leaving now."

"Are you scared? She can't do anything to you!" Gohan said.

"You just don't know what she is possibly capable of and, believe me, you don't wanna know!"

I fly away at top speed. I have  **so**  much more to live for.

 

 _ **7:00am:**_ I arrived back home. I tried to sneak past the living room where she was sitting but as I got half-way across the entrance, she spoke.

"Vegeta, stop right there!" I froze. "Where were you?"

"That's none of your business, woman!"

She turned around shooting her chilling gaze my way. "What did you just say?" she asked calmly.

I faltered. "I-I-I said it's none of your business." I repeated meekly. That look could unnerve a rock.

"That's what I thought." The next thing I knew, I was looking at the front door, from the OUTSIDE.

"Damn, damn, DAMN!" I shouted emphasizing each word with a foot stomp. Trunks opened his window and shot me a sympathetic look. "Hey son!" I whispered. "Help a Saiyan in need, will you?"

Trunks started to smirk. "What will I get for helping you?"

That brat! "Uh, I'll be nice to you!" All I got was a snort for a reply. He needs to stop picking up my characteristics. "I'll be nice  **and**  I will go easy on you during training!" Another snort. "I'll be nice, will go easy on you AND give you 75 zenni!" I could see his eyes light up from here. "Do we have a deal?"

"Sure. I'll go stall Mom while you come inside." He walked away. There goes the last of my funds.

 

 _ **7:20am:**_ I float up to the window and climb in. The coast is clear so far. I go to the door and peek out into the hallway. No one's there. I go to our room and open the top drawer on the dresser. I was so absorbed in my work that I didn't sense anybody else either. I actually didn't notice until the drawer closed on its own. I looked up.

"Oh shit!"

"Hello Vegeta. Back for a second helping?"

I turn away from her and look at the bedroom door. Trunks was standing there smirking.

"I thought we had a deal!"

"She offered my more money for my services. About 25 more zenni in fact."

"You little brat!" I lunge for him and he runs away screaming.

"Leave the boy alone. Just get what you came her for and leave." I got everything and tried one more time to plead with her.

"But-"

 **"NOW!"** she pointed towards the door. I walk downstairs and fly away. I turn around to see Trunks laughing.

"I'm going to get you for this! Don't think I won't!"

 

 ** _7:35am:_** Back at Kakarott's house. This is going to be a  **long**  day. Gohan had gone to the store and got everything and now they were planning how they would do everything.

"Back to sing some more?" Gohan asked. I ignored him and asked Kakarott a question.

"We are going to have to do more than this to make her happy. What should I do?"

"What happened now?" he asked me.

"She tried to murder me!" He looked at me strangely. "Well she did. Trunks played me for a fool because Bulma offered him more bribe money."

"You have one weird family." Kakarott told me.

"Me? What about you? Baka, Baka Jr., Nerd Boy, and Demon Spawn." I pointed to each one respectively.

"Hey!" Goten and Gohan said in unison.

"Don't pay any attention to him. He's mad and needs someone else to talk about since Bulma's the root of the problem." Their father told them. "How about you and me go and spar? It'll take you mind off of things since trying to kill me takes all of your brainpower." He smirked.

I thought for a second. "Wait, was that an insult? I think it was. You'll pay for insulting the prince of the- OW!" He hit me in my jaw. We both go outside and to the usual place.

 

 _ **8:15am:**_ I think it will probably goes as expected. I would get close and then he comes back with an unexpected Kame Hame Ha. Well this time, he was clearly distracted because... I WON!

"I'm king of the world! Whoo hoo!" I stopped jumping up and down and looked to make sure nobody but Kakarott heard that.

"Yeah pretty good." He mumbled. For the first time (concerning him) I start to feel guilty.

"What's wrong?" I ask as I sit down next to him.

"I completely forgot to get ChiChi something! She is going to KILL me!"

"I guess I could help you since I owe you two favors and all. Let's go to the mall." I looked at our clothes. "After we change."

 

 _ **9:00am:**_  At the Outlet mall. (Kakarott's cheap and I now hate the S.C. Shopping center for obvious reasons)

We stop at a store called Rings n Things.

"She likes jewelry and I got a really good gift here one year."

I go in and look around. "What happened? Did a tornado come through here?" I asked the person behind the counter.

"We had a sale and today's Valentine's Day! You should have came yesterday."

"Is there any other mall with actual merchandise left?" Kakarott asked tearfully.

"You might could try May's Flowers downstairs."

"Thanks!" We run outside and look from the balcony.

"Oh Kami! They're about to open and a crowd of men are already running towards there. JUMP!" We leapt from the side and land about 100 feet from the mob. "RUN!" We take off full speed. We came from one way and chaos from the other. "We're not gonna make it! We're not gonna make it! We're not gonna-" We ran right into a man holding a 'We're Sold Out' sign and knocked him down, falling on top of him. "make it."

 

 ** _10:00am:_** After brushing ourselves off and picking up the fragmented pieces of our pride, Kakarott and I walk away towards the food court.

"Goku, Son Goku, if you are in the building, come to Jewelry and You. I repeat, if you're in the building, please come to Jewelry and You. Thank you." a voice on the P.A. announced.

We both look at each other and shrug simultaneously and go to the third level where the shop was located.

"I'm Son Goku." Kakarott announced.

"I can't believe it's really you! The  **REAL**  savior of the world many times over! Can I take a picture with you?" A nerdy man with a "Hi! I'm the manager!" tag on.

"I'm well-know too!" I shout in his face.

"Oh really?!" He gets a pen and an autograph book ready. "And what is your name?"

"Vegeta, Saiyan prince from Vegeta-sei."

"Never heard of you." He readies a polaroid camera on a tripod and set the timer. "Ready? Say cheese!" He and Kakarott does it and the flash goes off. I tackle him to the ground.

"You should know who I am! I tried to annihilate your planet previously & fought beside this baka to save the people on this planet! I  **should**  be well known!"

"Vegeta, calm down!" Kakarott pulled me off the nerd who was, by now, turning a pretty good shade of blue. "I'm sorry for his behavior. Why did you call me up here?"

Gasping for air, nerd-boy sat up. "You won the grand prize in our contest."

"Really? What did I win?"

"A Valentine's Day dinner at Satan City's best restaurant, The Rose Room."

"Oh wow!" In his joy, he grabs me in a giant bear hug.

"Let go Kakarott, I can't breathe!" I manage to choke out.

"Oops." He turns to nerd-boy who was keeping a wary eye on me. "What time is dinner?"

"At eight. Black tie only you know." Kakarott gives me a glance.

"He means that it's formal."

"Oh, okay." He starts to grin again. "ChiChi's gonna be soooo happy!"

I walk away towards the elevator with the baka close behind.

"Wait!" Great! The nerd wants something else. "You forgot the ID slip. When you show up, you want to be able to eat you know."

"I sure do!" Kakarott cried.

"Let's go. Do you have any kind of formal attire at your house?" I asked him.

"Hmm. Nope. I don't think so."

"We'll just have to get you some then." I start off toward Tuxedo World.

"Can I help you?" a salesperson asked as we entered.

"Yes, uh can you fit this person here for a tuxedo? We're renting."

"I see. Follow me please." There was some laughing as Kakarott was being measured. I never knew he was ticklish. We had to wait a bit while the salesperson hunted around for one that fitted. "Here you are. That'll be a 15 zenni non-refundable deposit and 45 zenni a day."

I start to pull out my card again.

"You can put that away, I'll cover it."

"Oh wow!" I rolled my eyes. "Would have been better if, THIS WASN'T YOURS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!"

 

 **11:00am:** I go back home to find that Bulma wasn't even there!

"She said she was going the mall." Trunks informed me.

Whatever. "This is what I had brought over before. I'm going to take her favorite ring and get it engraved. How about that?"

"What will it say?" Goten asked curiously.

"That's none of your damn business. I might let you see AFTER I go and get it put on there if you shut up

"Well, we're all set. Just come by when you're ready." Gohan said.

Kakarott leaned in closer. "It's going to have to be sooner than eight or I'll have to sit this one out. I have dinner plans now, remember?"

"Okay." I walk towards the door and turned around slightly. "And thanks for all of your help."

As I flew away, I overheard Gohan asking, "Did he just say THANK YOU?"

 

[the time entries will tend to be shorter after this because I got a little carried away before and forgot that I was going by times instead of by  **days** ]

 ** _12:00pm:_** I'm tired and hungry and I  **really**  need to train in the gravity room. I go inside and look around. The coast is clear. I make my way to the kitchen to fix about 15 ham and cheese sandwiches. Since I don't have a death wish, I go and eat in the gravity chamber.

 

 **12:15pm:** That was good. I feel the urge to surpass Kakarott now, so my training will now begin.

 

 **4:00pm:** While trying to obtain Super Saiyan Level two, I use too much power and blew the gravity room sky high. Then I pass out.

 

 _ **7:30pm:**_ I wake up in my... bed? In the house? With Bulma... STANDING OVER ME WITH A SHARP OBJECT?!

"Get away! Nooooo! I don't wanna die!"

"Vegeta, calm down! I need to give you a shot to ease the pain. Geez! You act like I was trying to kill you or something?"

"How do I know you weren't?" I ask trying to calm my racing heart.

"Oh please!" This is the time I glance at the clock and realize something. Kakarott was leaving in 30 minutes!

"I gotta go! Move, move, MOVE!" I jump up and run to the bedroom window and fly out.

"Vegeta!"

What now? "What woman? I'm leaving no matter what you say!"

"I don't care if you leave, but at least put on some clothes first!" I look down at my bikini briefs.

"Uh, yeah. That's a good idea." I mumbled. People below me were laughing. How embarrassing.

 

 _ **7:45pm:**_ I start out again. I have to hurry, I have to hurry. I make it just when Kakarott and his mate were about to leave.

"I'm, ready! Wait until I get to the spot, then teleport her to your house."

"Sure. ChiChi, you're gonna have to stay close to the house so that I can locate you to get back here."

Kakarott, his two brats and I race to the spot they had prepared. I had to admit, it had a pretty nice view. In the distance, I could see the many lights of Satan City and the sky was full of twinkling stars. What a perfect place! I turn to Kakarott. "You can go get her now." He nods and disappears while I spread the blanket out onto the ground. Goten and Gohan helped me set up everything and then they headed for home. Gohan had to go get the Satan girl for a date today also.

 ** _8:00pm:_** Kakarott shows up and deposits Bulma on the edge of the clearing. He disappears a few seconds later to be with his mate. She walks towards me and gasped.

"This is so beautiful!" I smirk in response. "You did all this for me? I can't believe you actually remembered today  **was**  a holiday and I've treated you so bad!"

"I don't want to make you guilty. I just did this because I love you."

She froze. "Say that again."

"What? I  **do**  love you Bulma. I always will. I'm sorry I never told you before. " Of all the reactions I expected to receive, I got the least suspected. She started laughing!

"What? Why are you laughing, woman?"

"Wait until I tell ChiChi! I now have 20 extra zenni in my pocket!"

I looked at her strangely. "Don't tell me you get Kakarott's mate 20 zenni on whether or not I'd say that I loved you!" It was a statement, not a question.

She shrank away. "Uh yes." Further back she stepped until she bumped into a tree. I approached her with a crazy look on my face.

"You know what?" I asked in a whisper.

"What?" she squeaked out.

I picked her up and swung her around. "That's 20 extra zenni in our pockets  **and**  you had faith in me!" She laughed, amazed. I guess to her, I defied the laws of the universe. I professed my love to her, expressed something other than anger,  **and** gaveher a compliment.

"Are you on something?" she asked me.

"NO! I'm just happy!" I laughed as I gave her my other present.

"What a wonderful locket!" It had our wedding picture that Kakarott had taken in it. "Help me put it on?" I do so.

"You know, I didn't even think you knew what happy meant!" I lead her over to the blanket and served her some escargots. "French food too?! I'm dreaming!"

I added another thing to my list of surprises, I kissed her tenderly.

"If this  **is**  a dream, I hope I never wake up!" She giggled as I cleared our dishes away and laid her down onto the blanket.

 

**Saturday**

_**6:00am:**_  We got back around 5am today and for some reason, Trunks didn't mind. One day I'm going to have to sit him down and question him on the stuff he knows. I left Bulma asleep upstairs and went down. Trunks was watching t.v. I got a bowl of cereal and joined him.

 

 _ **8:30am:**_ Everything was peaceful until... we started fighting over what to watch.

"I wanna watch Monster Rancher!" Trunks shouted.

"That show sucks! I want to see Pokemon! I heard the episode is going to be great!" I yelled back.

"Monster Rancher!"

"Pokemon!"

"Monster Rancher!"

"Pokemon!"

"Neither one!" Bulma snatched the remote from our surprised grasp and turned off the t.v.

"Awww, Mom!" Trunks whined.

"Awww, Bulma!" I whined too.

"Just go into the kitchen and I'll cook you breakfast."

Food is better than t.v because Trunks smiled and nodded and walked away. Finally, I can watch in peace. I move to turn on the television.

"Vegeta!" she grabbed my ear and pulled me off of the couch.

"Woman! Let go of my damn ear! C'mon, this hurts!" She continued to yank until she got to the kitchen where she proceeded to throw me into a chair.

"Have you been lifting weights or something?" I asked amazed.

She just snorted and turned to the stove. This is a good time to question him.

"Trunks, what do you know?"

"He looked up. "What do you mean, "What do you know" Papa?"

"You know what I mean!"

He got a little intimidated by my tone of voice and started to reply. "I know all about the birds and the bees so I know what you two do at night. I know that's what you meant."

Bulma stopped and turned around. "And just how do you know that?"

"Well, at certain times you both disappear. I checked out your room once and the door is always locked  **and**  there have been some strange noises coming from inside like-"

"That's okay. We don't need to know in detail." I say hurriedly. "You're only eight! You know  **way**  more than you should!"

"It's not my fault you two are too loud-"

"That's enough!" Bulma cried blushing. "Besides, breakfast is ready."

She put it onto the table. We both just stared.

"What?" she asked

"What  **is**  this?"

"Don't act like you don't know! It's french toast!" We look on until finally she stares too. "You're right. I can't recognize it either." She picked up the plates, scraped the substance into the garbage disposal. "After we all get dressed, we can go out eat."

"All right!" Trunks and I cried as we stood up. She gave us a look. "That's fine." we corrected.

 

 _ **10:00am:**_ We show up at the breakfast buffet place. After Bulma paid, Trunks and I had lots of fun trying to out eat each other. Bulma just got two plates worth of food and spent most of her time watching us eat.

 

 _ **11:00am:**_ Two hours later will still at it and Trunks and I, so far, are even. Then it came down to the last fried chicken leg.

"It's mine! I saw it first!" Trunks yelled at me.

"Who's the oldest? Me! So therefore it's mine!"

"Who the cutest? Me! So it's mine!"

"He's got you there." Bulma said wearily.

"Here brat, I don't have time to be fighting over food with you." I let go of my end and Trunks fell backward and landed on a man that was walking behind him at the time.

"You little brat!" the man raised his hand to hit him and Trunks, startled, just sat there on the ground in shock.

I went over and grabbed the man's arm. "If you hit him, you'll spend the rest of your days regretting what you did. Get what I mean?" I smirk evilly. He nodded and I released him. Trunks got up from the floor.

"Thanks Papa." he told me.

"No problem, but you need to fight your own battles. I won't always be around to defend you."

"This is touching and all, but I want to go home!" Bulma said loudly interrupting our moment.

I sigh and shake my head. "Lets go."

 

 _ **11:25am:**_ We returned home. Trunks ran to the living room.

"I missed Digimon, but that's okay. I taped it!"

I joined him on the couch. "Well turn it on." We soon were absorbed in singing the theme song. "Digimon, Digital Monsters, Digimon are the champions!"

"I think I have  **two**  children." She left to work in her lab on some new project.

 

 ** _12:00pm:_** After we watched the two episodes, I took time out of my busy schedule to help Trunks improve a technique that he wanted to try out against Goten in their next sparring match.

"That's good! Just keep you ki controlled and it should be alright."

"Like this?" a bright green, spiraled beam came into existence.

"Yeah. That way. What will you call it?"

"The Super Trunks Green Beam!"

I winced. "Uh, no. How about the Grass Gun?" I ask jokingly.

"Yeah! The Grass Gun! Thanks Papa!" he ran up and hugged me then flew away in search of Goten.

"Hey wait! I was joking." I say weakly. If he  **ever**  uses that while I'm around and we're in public, I'm going to deny that he's my son.

 

 ** _3:00pm:_** After training myself, I go inside for some food. Bulma is in there reading at the table and drinking some tea.

I walk up behind her and cover up her eyes.

"Guess who."

She smiles and says, "Goku, I told you not to do that while we're at my house!"

"WHAT?!"

"Vegeta, I know it was you. I was just playing!"

"Whew! You had me for a second." I set her book down on the table and picked her up in my arms.

"Veggie-chan, this is the very reason why our son knows too much."

"I don't see him here now, do you?" I walk upstairs to our room and put her on my bed. Then I noticed a certain person in our sliding glass window.

"Trunks! Get away!" As I shut the curtains, I heard his voice say to his companion, "Goten, I told you they do it all the time!"

Bulma behind me sighed. "We  **do "** do it" all the time."

"I know you don't have any objections with that." She started to smile mischievously.

"You're right, I don't."

 

 _ **5:30pm:**_ We emerge from our room just in time for Bulma to start dinner. To pass the time, I decide to go and train again. Kakarott materialized in front of me again, this time with a sandwich.

"Do you ever stop eating?" I ask him.

"Yeah I do actually. When I'm not hungry."

"If ever. Did you come to chow down or to spar?"

"Same old Vegeta." He quickly finished his meal and got into a fighting stance. "Ready when you are."

I rush at him and my right connects with his jaw. He falls back a little and hits me with a knee to the stomach. This goes on for a while until finally its a draw. Neither one of us can rise. Bulma, seeing us from the window, rushes over and gives us each a senzu bean.

"Thanks Bulma!" Kakarott said.

"Goku, do you want to stay over for dinner?"

I, standing behind Bulma and facing Kakarott started shaking my head and mouthing the words "No! Don't do it!".

"That'll be fine!" he replied cheerfully,

"Baka!" I say slapping my forehead. He'll never learn.

 

 _ **6:15pm:**_  At the table, Trunks and I are next to each other looking at Goten, who Trunks had asked over, and Kakarott eat  **her**  food. We couldn't touch it, but  **they** could. Bulma, sitting between me and Kakarott, smiled happily that at least  **someone**  appreciated her cooking. I saw Goten's hand sneaking towards Trunks' plate. (which he gladly handed over by the way) These two would eat just about anything.

 

 _ **7:00pm:**_ After they finished consuming everything, we all went to watch t.v. My other favorite movie, The King and I, was on so we watched that.

"I take it that you love anything that deals with royalty." Kakarott mentioned.

"Of course. I, Prince Vegeta, have to study the royal roots." They all looked at me and shook their heads.

"That is sooo pathetic!" Trunks whispered to Goten.

"I heard that! It's not bad that I want to keep remembering how Kings and Queens act and how they get  **respect**." The group looked at each other again until Bulma spoke up.

"Gomen Prince Vegeta!" she said.

"Please forgive us Prince Vegeta!" Kakarott added.

"You're number one, Vegeta-sama!" Goten said too.

"We all adore you Prince Dad!" Trunks said. They all burst out laughing at their joke.

"Very funny. Ha, Ha."

"You know we love you." Bulma said kissing me on my cheek. She got up and left the room. Trunks kissed me on my hand as did Goten. Kakarott was quick to follow suit.

"Do it and die." I told him. He just grinned and walked into the kitchen.

 

 _ **7:30pm:**_ We. Are. Bored. Kakarott and Goten are still here.

"Hey! Why don't we play Monopoly?" Bulma suggested.

"Whatever." I say.

"I call banker!" Kakarott yelled. We all stared.

"I think  **I**  should be banker." Bulma gets up and goes to get the board game. While she sets it up, I decided to have a "friendly" wager with the baka.

"Kakarott, I bet you 30 zenni that I can get Boardwalk  **and**  Park Place."

"You're on!"

The game started. I chose the thimble, Bulma the hat, Kakarott the wheelbarrow, Trunks the car, and Goten the man on the horse.

Well all rolled an Goten got the highest. He rolled again.

"1, 2! Community chest!" He grabbed a card. "Whoo hoo! Grand Opera Opening." he reads. "Collect 50 zenni from every player!" We hand over his money, grumbling all the time.

"Goten honey, you rolled doubles. Roll again." Bulma mentioned.

"Oh yeah." he rolled. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! Vermont Avenue! I wanna buy it!"

"100 zenni please." He gave Bulma the money.

 

 _ **10:00pm:**_ We are still playing. I own the Electric Company, Pennsylvania Railroad, St. Charles Place and Boardwalk. Bulma owns Short Line, the Water Works, States Avenue, and Pacific Avenue. Trunks owns Marvin Gardens, Baltic Avenue, and Oriental Avenue. Goten owns Tennessee Avenue and Vermont Avenue. Kakarott only owns Pennsylvania Avenue.

Kakarott was on Pacific Avenue and was preparing to move.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6" Only two more spaces! "7" One more! "8"

"PAY UP! I have 4 houses  **and**  a hotel on that property! You owe me..." I quickly added up the grand total. "3700 zenni!"

"Really? Here." He hands it over.

"You have  **all**  of it?" I count it. "You do. Alright, where'd you get it from?"

"I'm just loaded."

"Kakarott," I explain patiently like I am to a child. "You have only  **one**  property and you only landed on community chest or chance ONCE! HOW THE  **HELL**  DO YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY?"

He begins to look guilty. "Well, I kind of borrowed it from the bank, but I was intending on paying it back  **with**  interest."

"I knew it was a mistake sitting next to you." Bulma sighed.

"I am going to kill you!" I grab at him over the gameboard.

"It's only a game, geez!" he cried.

"I'll show you game!"

 

 ** _12:00am:_** I wake up in the Capsule Corp.'s infirmary.

"Well you finally awake." Bulma says from her place beside me.

"What time is it?"

"Twelve in the morning. You have lots of injuries. Broken ribs, broken hand, broken leg, lots of burns..." she goes on for about a minute. I'm satisfied. If I'm hurt this bad, Kakarott must be dead!

"What does Kakarott have?"

"Goku only has one cut above his eye. He brought you in after you failed to move."

"ARGH! ONE CUT!" I get up in a hurry. "When I get through with him this time, he's gonna  **wish**  he was dead!"

"He at home, sleeping. What you should be doing." She stands and goes to exit the room. "Don't even  **think**  about going over to his house." She gets some medicine, mixes it up and puts it into a syringe. "After I give you this, you'll be sleep for ages."

She hurries over to my bedside and sticks that needle into me. I'm too tired to protest. A few seconds later, I'm knocked out.

 

**Sunday**

_**9:00am:**_ I'm up for today. She was right, that stuff  **does**  work wonders. I wonder what it was? I go into the kitchen to find Bulma and all I find is a note that says that she's at the mall and will be back soon. Oh joy! She's out buying more stuff to crowd the room with.

 

 _ **10:00am:**_ She finally comes back. She was hiding a wrapped package behind her back.

"Let me see it!" I tried to grab it from her.

"No!" I put my arms around and kisses her full on the mouth. While she was distracted, I took the package.

"To Vegeta." I read. "My one true love. Always, Bulma." I was shocked.

"A late Valentine's Day present. I hope you like it." I open the rather small box and take out a ring.

"Read the engraving."

"'Vegeta, you are my one and only Dark Warrior. I love you with all my heart'" I look up at her. "This is so nice of you. I love it, thanks." I put it on and get a thought. "Wait here." I jump up, go outside and fly away.

 

 _ **1:00pm:**_ I finally find the store that I want. The same one she got my present from. I go inside.

"Hi. I would like to purchase a ring that matches mine and with some engraving."

The saleslady looked. "Ah, yes. A blue-haired woman came in earlier to get one. Your wife I presume?"

"Yes, yes. How much will it cost?"

"Since I think what you are doing is sweet, the ring + the engraving is 65 zenni."

I give her the money. "I need it by today."

"Sorry, but it will take at least three." I hold up a thousand zenni bill in her face. "For you, 10 minutes."

She gets the ring, takes the size measurement, the message, and gets to work.

 

 _ **1:10pm:**_ True to her word, 10 minutes later it was finished.

"Thanks a lot."

"No problem. Come back soon and have fun!" She winks at me. How come everyone seems to know what we do in our spare time?

 

 _ **2:00pm:**_ I make it back as fast as I can. Come to think of it, I haven't seen my son in a while.

"Where Trunks?" I ask as I return.

"I sent him over Goten's house. Where have you been?"

"I went to repay the favor." I hand her the jewelry box.

"You didn't have to!"

"Just open it and read  **my**  message."

"'Bulma, you're bitchy, loud, evil, and a bad cook..." she raised an eyebrow. "but I love you anyway' Okay... coming from you, that's the best thing in the world!" She hugs me and I pick her up and we head upstairs. I guess my life here on Earth isn't so bad after all.


	3. A Month in the Life of Vegeta, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Day in the Life of Vegeta (my five second version) takes place *before* Trunks was born.  
> A Week in the Life of Vegeta (my two hour version) takes place *after* Trunks was born.  
> This one (the four day version ^_^) takes place *after* Bra's birth (she's four so that means Trunks is sixteen).

**~ **Week One~****

**Monday:**

Bulma told me that I should create a journal so that my thoughts would be in order. What's the purpose of that? If something requires a lot of thought, it isn't worth pondering about in the first place. Doesn't she understand that?

"Onna, I don't want to write in a stupid journal!" I informed her over breakfast that very morning. She didn't answer, focusing instead of passing the bacon to Bra. While Trunks wasn't looking, I speared his pancake and slid it onto my plate. He's too stupid to notice that anyway.

Bra did and she smiled at me from across the table.

"What's so hard about writing something down, Vegeta?" the onna asked.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not hard at all. But I'm a warrior, onna. Not a damn author!"

She frowned. "Watch your language around Bra-chan. You've already ruined Trunks' mind, don't do the same to her."

"Aw, Kaasan!" Trunks complained as he attempted to steal from my plate. I stabbed him with my fork leaving neat little puncture wounds. If that doesn't teach him better, I don't know what will.

He howled like a big baby and clutched his wittle boo-boo.

"KAASAN! Papa stabbed me!"

That *really* got the onna mad.

"VEGETA! How could you injure your own son?! You are *such* an asshole!"

"Ah, ah, ah," I smirked while waving my index finger. "Watch your language around Bra-chan!"

She threw up her hands in frustration and stomped from the table and out the door to her lab. "ARGH!"

Bra looked at me solemnly and shook her head. "Kaasan is sure pissed."

I agreed with her. "Hai."

***

By mid-afternoon I was seriously thinking about writing my thoughts down. For some odd reason, there were a lot of problems today. First off, Bulma left me alone with the two brats and Trunks got into a fight at school. Naturally the headmaster wanted a parent-teacher conference so I had to go up there and take Bra with me. Ningen scare too easily at the sight of a little bloodshed.

"Vegeta-san," the woman said in a voice that was used to calming angry parents down, "I'm sure that your son won't turn into a delinquent. Behavioral problems are easily corrected..."

I cut her off right there.

"Look, I don't think you understand the situation. I think it's great that the boy got in some training here at this stupid school, no matter that it was against some weak and pitiful ningen. I'm just angry that the other brat wasn't hurt more." I glared at Trunks. "You've been slacking off boy."

"Gomen nasai, Papa."

"Excuse me?" The headmaster said in this shocked tone of voice. That was another thing wrong with ningen, every little thing had them surprised. "You actually condone fighting?"

I didn't have to even answer, Bra did it for me.

"Yep! Papa will excuse lots of stuff!"

All three of us stared at her. I was the first one to speak. "Bra, where did you learn what condone meant?"

She stared at me as if I was stupid. "From the dictionary."

I blinked. "You can read?"

"Duh!"

Trunks crossed his arms. "You ignore us most of the time, remember Papa?"

"Quiet boy!"

"Vegeta-san! That is no way to speak to your son!"

I began to gather energy into my palm. "Onna, if you don't stop criticizing the way I raise my brats I'll--"

"Iie, Papa!" Bra shouted. "Kaasan would *really* kill you this time!"

I reluctantly reabsorbed my energy and sighed. "You're right."

The headmaster was floored. "Well! I must meet Briefs-san if she can control *you*."

That did it. "ONNA YOU'RE GONNA DIE!" Before either one of them could stop me, I reduced that onna to a pile of smoldering ashes. Both brats groaned.

"One day they're going to wonder what keeps happening to my headmasters," Trunks commented.

Bra shook her head and frowned. "I'm pretty sure they already know."

***

Seeing as that was incident number one of the crappiest day of my life (besides the day that Furiza killed me, of course), by the end of the day I really was tempted to create a journal to relieve my stress. It took an outing to the movies to convinced me.

"PAPA!" Bra came into the living room where I was sitting on the couch watching wrestling and laughing at the obviously fake performances.

"What do you want?"

"Can we go to the movies? I wanna see The Last Little Pony!"

The answer was pretty simple. "Iie."

"Please?" She crawled into my lap. "Pretty please with sugar on top? I'm your princess, remember?"

I sighed and turned the TV. off. She did have a point... "Alright. Just don't tell anyone about that last part, okay?"

She nodded with a gleam in her eye. I had a feeling she now had blackmail material against me.

Trunks was talking with Kakarotto's youngest brat by the front door. He stopped us on our way out.

"Papa, where are you going?"

"To the movie theater."

His face lit up. "Do you mind if we come with you?"

"Sure!" I said with more than a little sarcasm. "Why not?"

"Sugoi!" They both said in unison. It's scary how they think alike sometimes.

"Vegeta-ojisan," Goten said. I hate when he calls me that but he just won't stop. If I kill him, then Kakarotto will probably kill *me*. "What are you going to see?"

I didn't answer. Instead I looked out into the blue sky, trying to pretend that I didn't hear him. Unfortunately, Bra spoke up.

"The Last Little Pony!"

The two brats looked at each other and burst into hysterical laughter. One glare shut them up.

"It's what she wants to see."

"But Papa, I can't see *you* watching pink ponies make friends and spread joy and love throughout the world."

Is that what that movie was about? Just hearing about it made me ill. Sitting there surrounded by little kids and watching that crap would physically make me sick.

"That's it," I shook my head. "We are *not* going to see that movie!"

"But-" Her face began to transform into the sad one.

"Wait! You can see a movie, but not that one. How about The Sixth Sense?"

She shrugged. "I guess so..."

"Papa! You can't take her to that kind of movie!"

"Why not? She's intelligent enough to tell reality from fantasy."

"Okay but if Kaasan asks, it's all your fault."

***

Trunks and Goten took off to see some stupid comedy and I took Bra to see The Sixth Sense. I have no idea what they were so worried about. That movie is tame compared to some of the stuff I've seen. There was this one time on Vegeta-sei during a tournament when I was five and I saw one Saiya-jin reach into another ones chest and rip out his heart. It didn't effect me one bit.

As we were walking back to the Capsule Corp. (I still can't call it 'home'.), I saw her look behind her constantly as if she sensed someone following her.

"What are you doing?"

She stared at me with wide eyes. "I swear Papa that the dead people are walkin' and they don't know they're dead!"

I blinked and shook my head. Oh shit.

When we returned, Bulma was already back from wherever she had gone. "So, where did you two go?"

I did my ignoring act again and tried to maneuver Bra out of the entry hall. Bulma frowned and caught my arm.

"Where did you two go, Vegeta?" She stressed each word.

"The movies, onna. Is something wrong with that?"

"No... Well, what did you see?"

"What is this? Twenty Questions?"

Her frown became deeper. "Are you developing a sense of humor or are you avoiding the question?"

"He's avoiding the question!" Bra chirped.

I frowned at her. "That it! No more books for you!"

"Vegeta!" Bulma stepped forward so that she was mere inches from my face. And then she put her index finger even closer. "What damn movie did you see?"

I stood my ground but I wanted to step back. She may not be physically imposing but Bulma was still a formidable foe. Intelligence wise anyway.

"Bra wanted to see The Last Little Pony." I stopped there. She wasn't going to get anything else from me.

"But *you* didn't." She stepped forward once more and I didn't have to take a step back. Her finger poked me in the nose and her nails are sharper than they look.

I shrugged noncommittally. She wouldn't get this from me *ever*.

She growled and glared even harder. I don't know what did it, but I suddenly found myself talking. My mouth was moving and my brain couldn't shut it up.

"I refused to take her to that movie and we ended up seeing The Sixth Sense. Now she thinks she sees dead people." The came out all in a rush. Finally I stopped the stream of words, but it was too late.

"You-you WHAT?!" I jumped back quickly and even got into a defensive stance. Her shrieking actually startled me. I didn't know she could even hit that note.

When uncertain I make myself feel better by getting angry. Or acting superior. "You heard me onna! I took her to see The Sixth Sense! Now, what are you going to do about it?"

The next thing I knew I was outside, not even knowing how I got there exactly.

"Oh. *This* is what you're going to do." I rolled my eyes trying to act a lot more carefree then I felt. "This is *real* unique!" I know, really bad comeback. But you really can't top something like this. Not in a million years.

* * *

**Tuesday:**

With no paper or a writing utensil, my thoughts are just going to have to stay in my head for the moment. I don't want to go back to the Capsule Corp. and beg the onna to let me back inside, but becoming "one" with nature is not looking appealing. Staying here on Chikyuu has made me soft. I didn't get a good night's sleep because the ground was too hard, I couldn't kill some dumb animal at first because Bulma wouldn't like it, and I couldn't even enjoy my meal because the food wasn't seasoned!

Being outside sucks.

The island I was on was one that I used to come to before Bulma told me that I could live with her. At the time, it was paradise. But after spending at least twenty years in Furiza's company *anything* would look good.

I had delusions of grandeur, then. I thought that I was the best in the universe since Kakarotto and Furiza were "supposedly" deceased. I thought that I could rule Chikyuu; the replacement for the lost Vegeta-sei.

But, like most of the things I try, it didn't work out. Kakarotto returned as did Furiza and all attention was focused on my rival again.

Sighing, I stared at the sky again. Just being here was making me melancholy. That's it, I'm going back home no matter what Bulma says. I started to take off into the sky and realized what I just thought.

Home. I actually called the Capsule Corp. my home.

Will wonders ever cease.

***

It seems that I my arrival interrupted a gathering, a party of sorts. When the hell did she have time to plan this, anyway? Probably when I was training.

The midget man, Krillin, was the first to notice me. I bet he was looking out for me anyway. He's never gotten over the fear that I am going to blow up the planet one day. If I do get around to that, I'm taking Bra with me. Her and the TV.

"Uh hi, Vegeta." He was so nervous his whole body was trembling, not just his voice. "Nice day, isn't it?"

I was just going to walk by him until I got an idea. I didn't think it was particularly cruel, just funny. And they say I have no sense of humor.

"What are you doing over here?"

He gulped and spoke. "B-B-Bulma invited me. She didn't tell you?"

I shook my head and smirked. "Iie, she didn't."

"That's too bad."

"Look ningen-"

"What are you doing back?" asked a cold voice from just behind. I didn't have to turn around to tell who it was, but I did anyway.

I countered her question. "What are you doing having a party?" Krillin moved away seeing as our arguments did tend to get a little heated.

"If you don't remember, *my* name is the one on the title deed. It's my house and I can have a party if I want to. I didn't say anything to you because you're the world's best party crasher."

I snorted. "Social gatherings are stupid."

"In your opinion."

"It's fact!"

An amused look replaced her glare. "I could go and poll people to prove you wrong. Don't make me do that."

"I don't care if you do. Most of your friends are bakas anyway."

She growled and turned away. "You only say that because you *have* no friends! No one wants to befriend you. Besides Son-kun of course and he's either brave, crazy, or stupid for trying to do so."

"I strongly agree with stupid."

"I didn't ask you for your opinion!"

"Can't you two go one day without yelling at each other?" Trunks asked them in annoyance. "You two are the weirdest parents in existence!"

"How would you know, brat?" I asked. "You never had any other parents besides us."

"This could go on forever," Gohan said to Videl. "We'd better go."

As the crowd began to disperse, Bulma got even angrier at me.

"You ruin everything!"

"Look who's talking! The onna who can't even cook rice!"

"Papa, Kaasan, STOP!" Bra shouted.

We both turned to her. "You stay out of this!"

Her eyes widened in shock and, just as quickly as the initial argument began in the first place, she burst into tears. Pushing past her brother, she ran into the house. Bulma and I glared at each other. "Look at what you did now!"

Trunks shook his head in disgust. "Both of you are at fault." Then he disappeared into the house after Bra.

***

I crept silently to stand just outside the door to Bra's room. Inside, I could hear her and Trunks talking. It seemed that she just did not understand.

"Why do Papa and Kaasan fight so much, Niichan? Can't they just act like all of my friends' parents instead?"

"It's not that simple. I think the reason they fight is because they're too much alike to get along all the time."

"But," she was puzzled, "they never get along."

He sighed. "You're right. They don't."

It was interesting to hear what they thought of us. But it annoyed me somewhat to discover that Trunks' thought Bulma and I were alike. I'm nothing like that onna at all!

Bulma and I argue because it's entertaining. Well, at least it is for me. I never really get angry most of the time and I find the smallest things to bug her about. But she might not see it that way. Maybe I'm actually irritating her.

Oh well.

"What are you doing?" came a whisper from behind. I jumped slightly and tensed. I was so preoccupied in their conversation, that I didn't sense her coming. That would be bad in a battle.

"I'm listening to the brats talk about us."

"So you're eavesdropping?"

I shrugged. "If you want to call it that."

"It's wrong!"

"Do you think Kaasan starts a lot of the arguments?" Bra asked. Bulma's eyes narrowed and she pushed me aside.

"Move over."

"I thought eavesdropping was wrong," I mocked her.

"I'm willing to overlook this," She held out her hand. "How about you?"

I shook it briefly. "Sure."

"Maybe," Trunks answered after a short silence. "But Papa brings up a lot of stupid things, too."

As they talked, we began to inch closer and closer to the cracked door. As I leaned forward to see over the crouched onna, I sort of lost my balance, knocked her into the door, and both of us fell into Bra's room. The look on their faces was priceless.

"Are you spying on us?!" Trunks asked.

Bulma grinned sheepishly even as she tried to push me off of her. I stood and picked her up easily.

"No we weren't. At least *I* wasn't. I came down the hall and you two were talking, I just stopped to listen that's all."

"What about you Kaasan?"

"I, um, okay! I was spying!" She sighed. "I just didn't know that you felt that way about me."

"It would be nice if you got along more," Bra said. "But I'll just have to settle with this."

"Let me ask this again," I said to her. "Where do you get all of this stuff from? You don't *act* four years old."

"Think, Papa," She grinned. "If you were me living with parents like you two, do you think you would act normal for your age?"

I smiled. Well, it was so small I guess you could call it that. "No, I wouldn't."

***

Bulma got this strange idea into her head that we needed a 'family outing'. Now since I've only been apart of a 'family' for just under two decades, I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Vegeta, we need to start acting like a normal family," she said to me as she finished messing with her make-up in the mirror over her dressing table. Oh yeah, we were going out to a restaurant. A very expensive restaurant. Hey, it was her small fortune.

"Why do you think that, onna?"

She didn't even turn around, instead choosing to glare briefly at me through the mirror. "That's another thing that has to quit. Can't you call me by my name?"

"Whatever for? You are a onna, aren't you? Or have I been sleeping with something else?"

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it. Here, on Chikyuu, it's extremely insulting to be referred to as "onna". What do you think names are for?"

"Okay, I get it *Bulma*." She smiled. "Why do I have to get dressed up again?"

"It's fancy and only proper dress is required. Dresses for ladies and suits for men."

"You can eat without the fancy attire. Besides," I fiddled with the tie, "this thing is choking me."

"You, the Saiya-jin muscle man, is being defeated by a strip of fabric?" Both her face and her voice were amused.

"Ha ha. I see your clothing isn't as restrictive as mine." I looked over her simple, although *short*, black dress. "Though if there was more to it, I'm sure it would be just as annoying as my clothing."

"You just don't like other men looking at my legs."

"*I* don't like looking at your legs." She flipped me off and stuck her head out the bedroom door.

"Are you two ready? Our reservations are at seven you know!"

I made it to the door just in time to see Bra exit her room. Actually, what I saw was a lot of pink lace and ruffles, but I'm sure she was in there somewhere.

"Kaasan," she had a whine in her voice, "do I have to wear this?"

"Why? What's wrong with it? I think you look cute!"

Cute was definitely *not* the word. She looked like.... I couldn't even begin to describe what she looked like.

"I look like a big wad of cotton candy." Yes, that was a good description.

"Onna, er Bulma, how can she even sit down in that thing? Bra, go put on something that *you* like."

Her race flooded with relief. "Arigatou, Papa!"

"She's going to turn out liking you more than me, you know that don't you?"

I shrugged. The thought had crossed my mind more than once.

"Why? Do you want that?"

"The boy likes you more." It was true, he always talked to her first before he said anything to me. Not that I was complaining, of course.

"Look at what you call him! It's either boy or brat. And you train him so hard, he aches for days."

"He's half Saiya-jin. He should be able to take a little pain."

"But he didn't grow up on Vegeta-sei, baka! I know you had a terrible childhood, but don't take it out on your own children!" This was new, she never brought this up before.

"How do you know it was terrible?"

"How can it not be? You had no love or warmth in your life. Wait a minute, you really don't know what you've missed do you?"

I puzzled frown made its way across my face. She was right after all, I didn't know what love was. In fact, I still don't. That, for some reason, stuck in my mind and irked me for the rest of the night.

***

The food was alright, different from what I was used it. By "different" I meant that it was edible. But Bulma just wasn't satisfied with our table manners.

"Trunks, your napkin is there for a reason. You're sixteen for Kami’s sake! Vegeta," she stared long and hard at me, "you're doing a nice job! Keep it up."

I blinked in shock. "That's it? No shouting or public humiliation?"

She shrugged, "Why? You *are* doing a nice job."

By the time dessert came, the brats were bored. Then Trunks talked Bra into playing this game.

"When you see this anywhere below my waist," he demonstrated by forming his thumb and index finger into a circle, "then I get to hit you."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because it's called The Circle Game."

"If I get you to look at my hand, I get to hit you?" He nodded.

"Hey boy," I elbowed him. "Can I play?"

"Huh?" Was the only thing that came out of his mouth. Then he blinked. "Um, sure you can Papa. You heard the rules?"

I nodded. "It's easy."

"Okay then!"

I dropped a fork onto the floor and when he bent to pick it up, the first thing he saw was my hand. He groaned and clenched his teeth in preparation. I smirked. This should be good.

Bulma looked up from writing a check to pay for our meal and saw me punch Trunks in his shoulder. I bet she heard the muffled cry of pain.

"What the hell are you two doing?"

I looked at her with only a little bit of guilt. "We're playing The Circle Game."

"I should have told you not to try and dislocate my shoulder," Trunks muttered.

"This is supposed to be a game? You tried to hurt him!"

"It's the point of the game! Right boy?" I glared at him. He cringed and nodded.

She sighed. "I knew this was a mistake. I was so happy you two decided to act civilized for once and look what happened."

"Punish them, Kaasan," Bra told her.

Bra is a tattle tale. She must have gotten that from the onna's genes.

"Wait a minute. You were an active participant."

Her mouth dropped open in shock. "What do you mean?"

"You were playing too!" She stood and picked up her purse. "When we get back home, you three get a lecture on the proper behavior in public."

We groaned. Her lectures could take hours unless...

"Now do you really want to do that?" I smiled sweetly at her. Well, as sweet as *I* could manage anyway. "We could do something else. There's a brand new can of whip cream in the fridge..." I trailed off even as Trunks and Bra made disgusted faces.

"We did *not* need to hear that," Trunks said to his sister.

She nodded. "I'm already trying to forget."

Bulma began to smile then she shook her head. "Don't try to get me off the subject!" She marched from the restaurant with Bra trailing after.

"Well Papa, it was a nice try." Trunks patted me on the back.

As soon as I glared at him he removed it. "You're going to get it tomorrow when we train, boy. That stupid game was your idea."

* * *

**Wednesday:**

True to her word, Bulma did lecture us last night. It took her almost an hour to rant about the purpose of table manners. Sometimes, I didn't even know where she was getting the stuff from.

I awoke to the cheery rays of Mr. Sun. I swear, if this planet did not need it has a heat source, I would blow it to bits.

Rolling over and grunting, I threw an arm over my eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

"Ohayo, Vegeta!" Bulma sang. Why was she in a good mood? Couldn't she see that I wasn't?

I muttered something, don't ask me what, and tried my best to ignore her. That was when she decided to steal my blanket.

"You know, it's not in you to be lazy." She took the pillow too. "Get up and go train or something."

"Wait a minute," I rubbed my eyes. "You're always telling me *not* to train. Why is today different?" Then it hit me. "You're planning something, aren't you? Something that you don't want me around for."

Laughing nervously, she took a step backwards. "No... Why would you say that?"

"I can tell when you lie. The bond, remember?"

"Alright!" Not knowing whether or not I was even telling the truth. Actually, in this case I was. "I was planning on getting some people in here to redecorate the room. It's boring me."

"Redecorate it how? It's my room too, I should get a say in what goes on the walls and on the floor."

She walked over to the dresser and reached into a drawer. "It's called 'Strawberries n Cream'." She handed me the catalog.

I looked hard at it and almost gagged. Then I turned the catalog to one side and looked at it, trying to see it from a different angle. It still looked the same, unfortunately. Bad.

"Why can't it be blue? Or maybe black?"

"Are you insane?" Her eyes widened. I kept quiet, but inwardly I was saying, ' _Iie, but you are._ ' "I don't want *my* room to be all dark and gloomy!"

"*Your* room? It's always *your* room! I sleep here too!" I pointed to the bed. "I keep clothes here!" I marched across the room and threw open the closet. "I have sex here!"

"Now wait a minute!"

"Okay, *we* have sex here. But you see my point!"

"Unfortunately, yes. We'll compromise then. You get the floor and the walls while I'll get the bed and the decorations."

I shook my head. "No deal."

"Why not?" She was clearly frustrated.

"Because the decorations are the best part! I don't want to sleep on frilly pink sheets! Kami knows I've seen what kind of clothes you pick out!" I thought of Bra's pink monstrosity.

"Fine! I'll take the floors and the walls."

"No deal."

The onna looked like she wanted to strangle me. "What is it *this* time?"

"I don't want to walk on pink carpet or look at pink walls."

"ARGH!"

I held up my hand to ward of the inevitable blow. "How about we just find one we both like?" I held out my hand to her. "No pink."

She grasped it. "And no black."

***

We did eventually decide on carpet, wallpaper, and matching accessories for *our* bedroom. It was called Royal Purple and seemed fitting for a prince. Everything was dark purple and gold; the wallpaper striped with it, the floor was purple, and the comforter on the bed was both colors in diamonds. Bulma said that the decorator would be by around three and that I was to show him what we wanted. It's like she was seeing if I was going to screw up or not.

"I have to stop, Kakarotto," I said and powered down. "The onna wants me to wait for someone today."

"Who?" he asked. "The cable guy?"

"Baka, we have satellite. You've been over and watched TV. before."

He shrugged. "That was the only time ChiChi has ever told me to wait for someone. Who's coming by?"

"The interior decorator." I was met with a blank look. "It's a person that helps you pick our carpet, wallpaper, and decorations for a room."

"Ooh!" He was like a small child, very eager. "What did you pick out? Can I see?" He followed me inside the house and I showed him the picture in the book. He nodded once. "It's nice..."

"But..." I felt one was coming.

"But it really doesn't look like something Bulma would choose."

"We compromised. She wanted this." I showed him the disgusting pink, red, and white room.

"This is great!" Of course he likes it. "But it makes me hungry just lookin' at it. What's it called?"

"Strawberries n Cream."

A stupid smile appeared on his face and I left him alone with his food induced bliss. I swear, you could even say that he was addicted to the stuff.

I, on the other hand, only ate food because it was a way to sustain my body. Not because it was good. No matter what people thought otherwise.

"Hey, Vegeta!" Kakarotto called from the kitchen. He's drawn to that room. "There some of those little hotdogs in here that you like."

I blushed slightly. "They're called Pigs in a Blanket, baka."

"Whatever. I was just askin' before I ate 'em."

Okay, maybe there are *some* foods that I liked. Is that a crime?

"How kind of you to do so." This came out as sarcastic as it was meant to. Of course this went right over his head. I honestly don't know why I keep trying.

***

The decorators came and went, bringing with them large books of carpet samples and measurement devices. I still didn't understand *why* they needed an exact shade of purple.

"You must be joking!" One thin man said to me. He had a neatly trimmed goatee and moustache. "There are more than one shade of purple you know!"

"No," I mocked his snobby tone of voice, "I did *not* know. Nor did I care to know." He shoved a book at me and pointed at each and every single shade of the damn color purple. All ten pages of them.

"There's plum and violet and lilac and amethyst and lavender..."

"Didn't I just say that I didn't care? How often do you clean your ears out, ningen?" I shoved his book right back at him and was tempted to shove it someplace else. "You pick, okay? I'm getting a headache."

"How Plebeian!"

I had begun to leave the room until he hit me with *that* word. "Did you just call me common?"

He looked at me with distaste. "Of course. You have none of the fine upbringing that Ms. Briefs has."

"I am a royal prince, you baka, and don't you ever forget it!" I shouted this at him, making him take a step backward.

"Prince of what?" he said, trying to appear brave. He must thought he was going to survive this encounter. "The peasants?"

That's it. "I hope you've made peace with your god because you're going to be taking a one-way trip to see him!"

"Vegeta!" Oh Kami, not that voice! Please don't let that voice belong to that onna! I slowly turned around, my ki dissipating.

"Oh hello Bulma," I said mildly. "What are you doing back so soon?"

She didn't say a word for quite some time, instead choosing to glare at me. But it wasn't one of her usual 'death glares'. It was sort of normal.

"I came home and look what I find! I *knew* something like this was going to happen!"

"Then why did you put me in charge?"

"Because even though I knew it was going to happen, I was hoping that it somehow didn't. You're too predictable." She walked past me and touched the shoulder of that stupid decorator guy. "Are you okay, sir? He didn't hurt you did he?"

"No, Ms. Briefs. You got here just in time. Just, how can you live with someone like that?"

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

"He's a monster!"

Before I could even say a word, she had grabbed his shirt in her fist and pulled him closer. "Now you listen here. You may not approve of my Vegeta's methods. Hell, *I* don't even approve of his methods."

This was supposed to be *helping* the situation? I think not.

"But no matter what you think, you have no right insulting him. If that's what you did before, you're lucky I was here to stop him. You won't be so lucky next time." She released him with a shove. "He may be a monster, but he's *my* monster. You got that?"

He was trembling like a leaf and I was eating it up. "Y-yes ma'am."

"Good. Now leave before I tell Vegeta he has my permission to kill you." I have never seen a ningen run that fast.

I walked up to Bulma and gathered her into a hug that I was sure surprised her. "Good job, onna! I couldn't have done better myself."

She relaxed for only a few moments before she pushed me away. "Don't think you're off the hook. I was serious when I said that I didn't approve of your methods. Can't you solve your problems some other way?"

I didn't like where this was going so I tried the only thing that I knew would distract her. "This can wait until later."

"You're sure about that?" She closed her eyes briefly when I licked her nose. "Don't get me off this subject!"

"But Bulma, you already are." And there were no more words. At least, not for a while.

***

Trunks decided to be nice to his sister for once and teach her how to ride a bicycle. She said that she had read all about it in the encyclopedia, but both Bulma and Trunks said that you could only truly learn by experience. They also both said it was like driving a car.

Bra sat on her bike, safety gear in place (Bulma insisted), and no training wheels. I guess she was trying to prove that she could do it. Trunks behind her -- one hand on the bike -- was telling her what to do.

"I know, Niichan! I pedal. It's not so hard."

"On this bike when you pedal backwards, it brakes you. Don't do that, okay? Kaasan can get you a ten-speed or something later. With those you can pedal backwards all you want."

"Sure," she grunted impatiently.

"I'm going to let you go when I think that you have the hang of it."

She nodded and leaned forward just a bit.

"Boy, will you just begin? You're taking forever with this!"

Finally, Trunks pushed her forward, running behind her. After about ten seconds, the boy let her go. Unfortunately, Bra doesn't know a thing about balance. She fell around two seconds later.

"I pedaled and I was ready!" She frowned. "Why didn't it work?"

Trunks looked sheepish. "I forgot to teach you how to balance."

"Oh great Trunks!" She rolled her eyes. "You are a wonderful sensei!"

I was a little tired of all of this. Picking up Bra's bike from the ground, I placed her on it.

"Look, this is how we do this. I push you, you remember to pedal and don't lean to the side. You are going to ride this thing today."

She nodded, pleased. "I trust you more than him, Papa."

She trusted me? That was the first time I've ever heard that from someone. You scare me, yes. But never about trust. Because she told me that, I gave her a little more time than I was going to.

And, lo and behold, it worked.

"Since you know how now, you can take off that stupid looking safety gear. Go and ride with your brother and have fun."

"Fun?" Trunks grinned. "I didn't even think that word was in your vocabulary!"

"If you don't shut up now, the words "death by butter knife" are going to be the main ones of yours."

He smiled weakly. "Uh, right Papa."

As he got his bike from the ground and rode off with his sister, I heard the onna come up behind me.

"I heard you threaten Trunks," she sighed. "I know that you aren't going to do a thing to him."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow. "Who told you that?"

She smiled. "If I tell you that, then I'll have to kill you."

"Now who's the one threatening people?" She laughed and we began to walk towards the house. "How long do you think they'll be?"

She shrugged. "Oh I don't know. But it may be long enough for what you have in mind..."

I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder. That really seemed to irritate her.

"Why can't you do anything the normal way? You can't even carry me correctly!"

"Bulma."

"Nani?"

"Shut up."

And, miraculously, she did.

* * *

**Thursday:**

I sat at the breakfast table and could barely keep my eyes open. Bulma bought these new tapes yesterday and they're supposed to be about girl power or something. The thing is that she wanted to be able to hear them when she was asleep so she turned the volume up on the tape player almost to maximum. I had to listen to "You are a strong, confident woman and men should bow at your feet." all night long. It was so irritating.

"Papa!" Trunks exclaimed as he caught my head from falling face first into my now soggy corn flakes. "What's wrong?"

"Your Kaasan and her stupid tapes!" I yawned hugely. "I hate that tape!"

Bulma then came into the kitchen and tapped me on the shoulder. "Remember your promise."

I blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

She snorted with a laugh. "You are so absentminded. You promised Bra that you would go ice skating with her at the rink. Don't you remember? She asked at around eight o'clock last night."

I though long and hard and then it came to me. "You bitch!"

Both brats gasped and Bra spoke. "Papa! She's gonna kill you!" But Bulma only laughed.

"You knew that I always watch my fake wrestling shows at eight o'clock. You *knew* that I would be so focused on the television that I wouldn't remember anything the next day." Actually I *did* sort of remember Bra asking something but the details were a little fuzzy. "You *knew* that I wouldn't be able to say no later on because she would make that face." On cue, Bra's face fell. "See! There it is!"

Bulma waved her hand. "Is it wrong to prey on your moment of weakness?" I opened my mouth. "Don't answer that. Besides, you do it all the time."

"That's different!" I protested.

"Why? Because you do it with the intent to kill?"

I chose not to answer that. A few seconds later she kissed me on the cheek and left to go to work and Trunks left for school.

"I guess it's just you and me, kid." I piled my bowl and glass into the sink and did the same with Bra's.

She nodded. "Yep."

"I'm going to sleep. Don't bother me until later."

She headed off toward the living room. "Sure."

***

I awoke to the loving kindness of Bra jumping up and down on the bed.

"Papa! It's later!"

I groaned and covered my eyes. "How much later?"

She landed heavily atop my midsection, knocking the breath from me. "Several hours. It's after noon."

Lifting her from me easily, I sat up. "Warn me before you do that next time."

She smiled. "We're still going. Now get dressed!"

I mock saluted. "Yes, ma'am!"

Giggling she said, "You're silly, Papa."

I wonder what she would say if I told her that she was the only one to ever say that.

Twenty minutes later we were ready to go. Bra had on a bright pink leotard with a white see-through skirt thing about her middle. I kept my snickers in check, just barely. "Bulma picked that out."

She rolled her eyes and answered with a sarcastic "How could you tell?"

I, on the other hand, had on spandex. A wonderful thing, that spandex. Probably the only good thing ningen make. Besides television, of course.

We went to the rental place and got some skates. I had a little trouble with the sizes because, frankly, I have no idea that size I wear. After going through seven different pairs, I finally (much to the relief of the man behind the counter) settled on a ten. Bra takes a two.

"Papa," she asked with huge puppy eyes, "are you really going to skate with me?"

I sighed. "Put your face back to normal. I will."

"Great!" She dragged me by the hand. "Let's go!"

There's a really bad problem that I think I should tell her about. I have no idea how to ice skate. As I look at all the little kids, old people, and unemployed adults (At twelve in the afternoon, what else kind of adult would be here?) I don't think it's too hard. It can't be any harder than killing Majin Buu.

I stepped onto the ice and promptly fell on my ass, taking Bra with me. Oh, I guess it is more difficult than I thought. Still, it wasn't too bad.

A group of little kids skated by and laughed at me. I take that back, it *is* bad.

Bra stood easily. "You don't know how to do this, do you?"

I frowned at her from my place on the ice. "What was your first clue?"

"Take it slowly," she coached, taking on the role of my sensei. "Stand and hold onto the rail on the side."

I did as instructed, inwardly amused. She took my left hand with her right spoke.

"Now move forward with your right foot and then move slowly with your left one. Get a good rhythm going, okay?"

We started slowly like this for almost thirty minutes. After that, I felt competent enough to skate slowly. Bra was speed skating around the rink.

Again, that same group of little kids passed me, laughing their heads off.

"That's it!" I roared and took off after them. They screamed and the chase was on.

Boy did that feel good.

Unfortunately when they made a sharp turn to the left, I kept going forward. It seems Bra-chan never taught me how to stop.

I collided with the wall pretty hard but it didn't do anything but stun me a little.

"Papa, are you okay?" Bra asked me as she stopped beside me.

"Yeah, yeah. That puny little wall isn't going hurt me at all." Then a small crack startled up the thing. It spread into a spider web and a huge piece fell away to expose the blue sky outside.

"Uh oh," Bra said. "But you can hurt it."

I looked around quickly and noticed that everyone was staring. Then this little man ran out of an office and started yelling at me. I picked up Bra and left the ice.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked in this loud, shrill voice. "What are you, anyway?"

"I'm a Saiya-jin if that's any of your business," I growled back. "And anyway, if your wall wasn't so cheaply made it wouldn't have fallen in the first place."

"Papa," Bra muttered to me, "you can punch holes in mountains and you're telling him that?"

"Hush, Bra." I ignored that man and got our shoes.

***

I spent the rest of the afternoon writing this whole incident up in my journal. I will never admit this to Bulma, but writing sort of makes me feel better. After all, it's one thing Kakarotto can't do.

Now it was time to train. I haven't done it in a while. Something always kept happening that prevented me from doing so. Most of the time it was those damn kids.

I started with three-hundred sit-ups with the gravity at seven-hundred. As I was working my way through two-hundred one-handed push-ups, I felt the gravity lower.

"What do you want, onna?" I asked aloud.

Her face appeared on the monitor. "I have something to discuss with you. If you promise that you won't get mad, I'll tell you."

That made me wonder what the hell she was talking about. But since I would never find out if I didn't promise, I agreed.

"Good. I sat down and wondered today about you and Trunks. You two never get along."

I snorted. "Why do you care?"

"Because you're father and son that's why! You should at least talk to each other! Anyway, I said to myself: 'Self, you're a genius. Come up with a good way to get those two on good terms.' And then it happened."

"What happened? Did the men in the little white coats come because you were talking to yourself?"

She scowled. "Iie, baka. That's not what happened at all. I came up with a good idea!"

"Is that all?"

"ARGH! You are impossible! That's it! You don't have a choice in the matter. You're going on a camping trip with Trunks!"

"NANI?!" I shouted at her image. "Oh no I'm not!"

"Hai, you are. And Son-kun and Goten are going with you!" She sat there smugly, with a little smirk on her face.

I was beyond annoyed. I didn't want to go anywhere with Trunks, let alone Kakarotto and his equally stupid brat. Gohan, I sort of respected, but those two?

I turned my back to her and shook my head. "I am not going, onna."

"Really now?" Then she held something up to the screen. In one hand was a pair of scissors. In another was my beloved WWF t-shirt with The Rock on it.

"NO!" I shouted as I placed my hands on the screen. "It took me forever to find that shirt!"

She opened the scissors a bit and placed them around the fabric of my shirt. "Say you'll go." They were drawing ever closer to cut my shirt. My eyes got wider and I finally relented.

"Okay! Okay!" I dropped to my knees dramatically. "Onna! Why do you torture me so?"

"You're silly, do you know that? I swear, you need to be in a play or something."

I gaped. "You're the second person who's said that to me today!"

She placed my shirt onto the table and smiled. "By the way, dinner's almost over. If I were you, I'll go get some before Trunks eats it all."

That does it. She *is* trying to torture me. Trunks always tries to steal my food.

"You make me sick, onna. Do you know that?"

She laughed. "I love you, too."

* * *

**Friday:**

"Are you all set? I don't want to do this any more than you do." I folded my arms and leaned against the door frame.

"How come I can't come?" Bra asked, pouting. "It sounds fun."

I wondered the same thing. I rather go someplace with her than with the boy.

"It's a man's trip," Trunks told her. "You would just be in the way."

She frowned and kicked him in the leg. It didn't really hurt him, but I appreciated the effort. I hope she asks for training one day.

Kneeling down to her size, I spoke. "Papa will do something with you when we get back."

That shocked Trunks. "You're always nice to that whiny little brat!" She kicked him again. "It's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair, Trunks." Bra stuck out her tongue. "Deal with it."

"Anyway, we can leave when the Baka Duo gets here." As soon as I spoke, Kakarotto and Goten materialized, with large backpacks.

"Can't you use the door like everyone else?"

Bra smiled at Goten and instantly attached herself to him. "Hi Goten-niichan!"

Bra seems to be infatuated with him. I'm hoping to Kami that it's just a phase. The last thing I want are little Gotens running around.

Kakarotto just smiled at me. "It was easier this way. So, are we going to go now?"

I nodded and shouldered my pack. "I don't know where we're going. You have a map or something?"

He pulled something from his pocket. "Sure do." I snatched it from him.

"I don't trust you! Give that here!"

"We're going to have to listen to this the whole weekend." Goten said to the boy. "I wish I could just stay home or something."

"But," Trunks frowned, "I'll have to go by myself with them!" He clutched at Goten. "Please don't make me do that!"

"Calm down. Jeez!"

"Can we stop this stupid conversation and just leave already?" I asked already halfway to the door. Me? Impatient? Nah. "The sooner we leave, the sooner we can come home."

"You guys just don't know how to have fun." This came from Kakarotto. "I think spending time in nature will be great!"

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever you say, Kakarotto."

***

We walked down the path, deeper and deeper into the wilderness. I occasionally swatted at bugs, but, all in all, it was very boring. That was until Kakarotto decided to torture, er *regale*, us with his singing.

"10,230 bottles of beer on the wall, ten-thousand, two-hundred, and thirty bottles of beer! Take one down, and pass it around, 10,229 bottles of beer on the wall!"

"Please," I said in agony while covering my ears. "If there is someone listening up there, you will kill me now."

But he continued. God is up there laughing at me, I just know it.

"10,229 bottles of beer on the wall, 10,229 bottles of beer! Take one down, and pass it around, 10,200...." He trailed off and eventually stopped completely.

I blinked at him. "You're just going to stop there?"

He shrugged then grinned sheepishly. "I forgot what number I was on."

Sometimes, he makes me want to smack him. I looked at him. You see what happens when third-class Saiya-jin are allowed to breed?

"I didn't even know you could count."

"Can we just stop here?" Trunks asked. "My feet are beginning to hurt."

"That's because you don't use them enough. You're always flying everywhere!" I glared at him. "When we get home, you're going running every single day! Ten miles!"

"Aw, Papa. It's summer vacation! I'm supposed to just lie around and be lazy. Since Goten is my best-friend, he's supposed to be lazy with me."

"Whatever."

Finally we got to the campsite that was highlighted on the map. It was completely devoid of people besides us and that was the way I liked it. I took the tent from the top of my pack, and began to set it up.

"Trunks," I said to him with great difficulty, "you're sharing a tent with me."

"Why?" he whined. "Goten and I get along better! You can share with Goku-san!"

"OH, *HELL* NO!"

"Why not Veggie?" He asked. I hate it when he calls me that. "You act like I have some kind of contagious disease."

Contagious? Look who's been studying the dictionary... "Unless stupidity is catching these days..."

"Oh?" he said. "Then maybe I don't want to share with you. I may get weaker in my sleep."

That did it. "Stop bringing that up! ONE DAY I WILL BEAT YOU!"

"Anger Management." Goten said calmly.

I stopped shaking my fist in the baka's direction and just looked at him. "Nani?"

"Anger Management classes. That's what Kaasan goes to. It works. She's calmer these days."

"You know Goten? That's a good idea! I'll talk to kaasan about it."

"You will not, boy. I don't need therapy."

"It's not really therapy, Vegeta." Kakarotto said. "By the way, who said that you're crazy?"

I snorted and rolled out my sleeping bag. "Look, I'm going to catch something to eat. I'm starving. If you idiots want to come, that's your decision."

"We'll all go. There should be a lake nearby. I can catch some fish." Kakarotto grinned and ran off down another path. "It'll be fun!"

"Fun is tousan's middle name." Goten shook his head and ran off after his father, Trunks behind him.

I followed more slowly. So sue me if I wasn't as eager to spend time with them.

Night was just falling when we got there and the lake was bathed in gentle moonlight. Ugh, I sound like Shakespeare.

Goten and Trunks were splashing each other in the water, scaring away any fish that happened to be nearby. Kakarotto was in the middle of the lake searching for the biggest fish he could find, occasionally coming up for air. I was on the bank, watching them all.

"Come on Vegeta-ojisan!" Goten shouted to me. "You can have fun sometimes, can't you?"

"Are you kidding?" Trunks laughed. "The only thing he finds fun is killing something."

"That's not true. I heard he always has fun with Bra-chan."

The boy scowled. "That's different. She's his "Little Princess"."

How the hell did he find that out? Just because I like her more doesn't mean that.... Okay, so maybe it does. That still doesn't give him a right to talk about me when I'm right here. Hell, he shouldn't talk about me when I'm not!

I stood and stripped off my clothes and ran to the water. I can prove to him that I can have fun.

You just watch me.

***

I was tired when I finally stopped eating. There was food left but I'm sure there wouldn't be for long. We had Kakarotto, the Saiya-jin garbage disposal.

"What do you want to do now?" Trunks asked. I think he was still shocked that I swam in the lake.

After I ran to the water, I swam over to the boy and dunked him under. "I'll prove to you who can have fun!" Then I dunked Goten took and took off towards deeper water.

After he came up, sputtering, he and Kakarotto's brat came after me. Then I felt something grab my leg. Before I could even get enough breath to yell, I was being pulled under.

I noticed Kakarotto swim by with a *huge* fish in one hand. He waved and flew out of the water.

"I'll get my revenge!" I shouted at him as he deposited the fish onto the shore. "You won't get away!"

Then he had the nerve to stick out his tongue at me. I flew at him and soon we were wrestling in the water. I had to admit that was the most fun I've had in a while.

"I just want to sleep," I yawned and stumbled off towards my tent. "Good night."

"We're going on a hike tomorrow, so get some rest." Kakarotto said this to the brats and then he followed me.

"What do you want?" I asked as I once again removed my clothes. Climbing into my sleeping bag, I looked at him.

"I just want to say that I'm proud you," he said. "I knew you could loosen up once in a while."

I didn't insult him for once. Actually, I couldn’t think of a single thing to say except one word. "Arigatou."

He yawned and turned over. "Goodnight."

"Yeah."

* * *

**Saturday:**

Something woke me up. It took me awhile to clear my head but when I finally opened my eyes, I wished that I hadn't. The sight that greeted me wasn't too nice.

Kakarotto's face was inches from my own and he was drooling. His snoring must have been what woke me up.

"What the hell?" I tried to get free but it seemed that he was holding me tight, sort of like a teddy bear.

How sad. I've been reduced to Kakarotto's teddy bear.

"WAKE UP, BAKAYARO!"

He snorted and rolled over, taking me with him. Now I was lying on top of him and that was *not* a nice feeling. I don't know what I would do if someone saw me like this...

Trunks poked his head inside the tent. "Breakfast is ready-" His mouth dropped open. "What are you two doing?"

"What does it look like?" I asked him. It just sort of slid out of my mouth.

He smirked. "You really don't want me to answer that."

I thought about it. "You're right. I don't." I wiggled and squirmed some more, fighting for freedom. The baka muttered something and we both heard him clearly.

"Don't go, ChiChi." And he clutched me even tighter. I wonder if he actually held that psycho woman like this? Probably not 'cause she would be dead by now.

Trunks' smirk got even wider and turned. "Goten! You have to see this!"

And see he did. Goten grinned and snapped his fingers. "Shoot. I don't have a camera."

That was the last straw. "KAKAROTTO! IT'S BREAKFAST TIME!"

He woke up immediately. "Breakfast! Oh boy!" Then he noticed. "Vegeta? Why are you on top of me?"

Before either of the two brats could say a word, I grunted and moved. "This is all your fault. *You* grabbed *me*."

"Oops?" He said.

"Whatever. Just don't *ever* let it happen again."

"How can I? I was asleep."

At least it's only one more night. I'm going home tomorrow, no matter what.

***

"We're off to see the Wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz!" The sun was making me sweat as we hiked along and on top of everything, Kakarotto was singing... again.

And the two brats joined him. "We hear he is a wiz of a wiz, oh ever a wiz there was. Oh ever, oh ever a wiz there was, the Wizard of Oz is one because. Because, because, because, because, because!"

"Oh, shut up!"

"Because of the wonderful things he does! We're off to see the Wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

I fell to my knees on the dusty ground. "Kami, take me now!"

Kakarotto nudged me with the toe of his boot. "Stop being melodramatic."

"Who asked you? By the way, I think it's interesting that you've finally found the dictionary."

We had packed up everything and taken it all along with us because we were hiking to another campsite. It didn't make sense to hike and then hike back.

"You're a wet blanket." Trunks told me.

I didn't get it. "What are you talking about? What wet blanket?"

Goten cleared his throat. "A wet blanket is someone who brings everyone else down."

I stood and brushed off my spandex. "Well, thank you Professor Goten!"

He bent over and patted me on the head. "Why thank you, little boy!"

Just because he's taller than me doesn't mean... "You better be glad I'm in a good mood today."

We hiked and hiked, then hiked some more. Kakarotto stopped to smell flowers and gawk at birds along with way. I came close to strangling the two brats because they kept asking stupid questions.

"Look at all the pretty flowers!" Kakarotto exclaimed. I shook my head.

"And this is the man that killed Buu."

He stopped skipping and grinned at me. "Ain't it amazing?"

"Sometimes I question your sanity."

"Vegeta!" He smirked. I felt revenge coming. He only does that when he's about to humiliate me. "What's your ki level now? Is it still smaller than mine?"

"You just *had* to rub that in, didn't you? You are a sadist!" Then I gasped, shocked at myself. I just called Mr. Goody Two-Shoes a sadist! How ironic!

He actually blew a raspberry at me. What is he? Five or Fifty?

"I hate this trip! I hate this planet!" I glared at him. "And I especially hate you!"

"Do you hate Bra-chan? Or Bulma?" He asked me.

I pretended to think about it. "Bra's okay. Bulma, I could take her or leave her."

"You don't really mean that." He said this like he knew!

"Again, who asked you?"

"We're here!" Trunks cheered at he saw the campsite number on the sign. I looked around and almost screamed.

There was nothing, but little kids everywhere. In addition to those little kids, there were lots of tents and RVs. It's like everyone decided to come out today."

"Mommy, look!" One brat tugged on his mother's skirt and pointed at me. "He looks just like my troll doll!"

I felt my eye beginning to twitch. I wouldn't be able to take much more of this.

Kakarotto scratched his head. "I didn't know so many people would be here. Maybe we can find an empty space to pitch the tents."

"You better hope there is or I swear that I'm going home."

Then some incredibly scantily clad women came by in their bikini's headed towards the beach. Trunks and Goten's eyes followed their every move.

"Please, Tousan!" Goten actually got on his knees. "Let's stay here!"

Trunks did the same thing to me. "It's paradise!" Then, before I could even say a word, they dropped their backpacks and took off after them.

I snorted. "Kids."

Kakarotto began to laugh and then his nose began to twitch. "I smell food. I think it's okonomiyaki with noodles on top!"

I blinked. "How can you tell?" Then I realized who I was talking to. He could tell what was exactly in something just by sniffing. Then I shrugged. "I hope they have some with sausage."

***

I think I just found the best cook in the world. I swear I have! Bulma doesn't even come close to this woman. Her name is Sakura and she's a professional chef in Tokyo. If I ever go there, I'm eating at her restaurant.

Kakarotto sat there on his long, patting his stomach. Then he let out the loudest and longest burp I have ever heard and smiled. "Excuse me."

"That was really good!" Goten said happily. "It's way better than anything one of us would make. We just brought a lot of canned food like soup."

Suddenly some music started up and a lot of people got up to dance. Trunks and Goten each found them a girl and I just sat there and watched, feeling content.

"Sir?" A small voice said to my right. I looked over at her. She was thin and pale and overall homely. Yet she was looking at me with anticipation.

"What do you want?" Maybe that came out just a little too harshly. Nah.

"I just wanted one dance. Would you like to?"

Now I was a little hesitant. It wasn't because of Bulma back home -- because I could care less what she thought -- it was because I can't dance. Not at all. And I was tired of people laughing at me.

"What kind of dancing is it?" I was hoping it was something simple, like the waltz.

"Salsa."

Oh boy.

"Um, well, I-"

"You don't know how."

I stammered a bit more and then stood, pulling her up with me. "My name is Vegeta. What's yours?"

She smiled. It made her look just a bit less awful. "I'm Yuiko."

"Great. Now, are you going to teach me or something?"

She nodded. "Sure!" Then she pulled me out among everyone else. "Let's go!"

The dance wasn't too bad. At first I was the worst person there, stumbling into everyone and knocking some people down. But after an hour I started to get the hang of it. I actually found myself liking this girl, for a friend of course.

The concept was practically foreign to me.

"You were good, Vegeta! How long are you going to be staying here?"

"This is my last night in this area. Um, I think I should tell you something."

She interrupted me. "Please don't tell me you're gay!" And before I could even answer, she continued. "I mean jeez! Every single cute and nice guy I meet, seems to be that way!"

"Now hold on! It's not that!" She shut up. "I'm mated."

Her face fell. "Oh."

"And I have a son."

She smiled weakly and tried to crack a joke. "Well, it could have been worse. Is your son with you?"

"Hey, Papa!" Trunks sort of materialized right next to me. "I'm tired so I'm going to bed now..." He trailed off, looking back and forth between Yuiko and me. "Who's this?"

"Yuiko, meet Trunks. My son."

"This boy is your son? Wow, you look so young!"

"Yeah, well..." But it turns out she wasn't even listening. She and Trunks sort of stared at each other, completely oblivious to anyone else.

"Of course she would like him," I muttered to myself. "He looks just like a purple-haired me!"

Putting that whole thing behind me, I went off to bed.

* * *

**Sunday:**

Today is the day I finally left that Hell-hole. Actually, it wasn't too bad. The incident with Kakarotto aside, of course. I felt calm and ready to take on the world.

"Papa!" Bra cried as she ran from the house and hugged me around the legs. "There was an accident..."

I was hesitant to ask. "What kind of accident?"

Then the onna came outside holding a scrap of *something*. I took it from her and began trying to figure out what it was.

She was babbling. "I'm so sorry! Please don't be mad! You can get another one!"

What the hell was she talking about? I looked at the rag closely. Unless.. "It can't be!" Using my hand, I scraped some soot away. The Rock's face came into view.

"NOT MY FAVORITE T-SHIRT!"

"It just sort of went up in flames! I'm sorry!" Bulma wailed this in hope that I truly forgave her.

"This is unforgivable!" The showed her just how generous I was feeling.

Bra released me. "Now calm down, Papa. It's not as bad as it looks..."

"Not as bad as it looks? NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS? Half The Rock's body is missing and you're telling me that it's NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS!" I started to rub my temples. "Kami, I feel a migraine coming on."

"Now is the time for Anger Management, Papa." Trunks told me. "There's a clinic open today...."

The way I feel, one more angry situation will probably cause me to have a coronary. And I'm a Saiya-jin! "Fine, fine. Take me to him."

***

Takamoto-san was the therapist. A *female* therapist. All four of us sat for THIRTY minutes in her stupid waiting room just because she was the only office open today. Everyone in town had to have problems on the same day I had.

"Vegeta-san?" The receptionist called out. "The doctor will see you now."

"Do you want one of us to come with you?" Bulma asked. "It wouldn't be a problem."

"Iie. I'm fine onna, er *Bulma*," I corrected at her glare. "This is something I have to do alone."

Bra waved me away. "Go on. Just stop acting like you're going off to your death."

"Maybe I am."

I was directed down a long, carpeted hallway and led into a room with a couple of chairs, a couch, and various other things.

She stood. "Konnichi-wa, Vegeta-san. I am Takamoto-san." The therapist was tall with long brown hair and green eyes. She looked like she was used to getting a lot of information from her patients. Whether they liked it or not.

"Sure." I took a seat. "Where do we start?"

"Tell me why you're here."

I didn't expect that. "Um, well... Life is driving me crazy!"

"Now Vegeta-san, life holds many wondrous things. If you think about it, I'm sure that you'll find that suicide isn't the way to go."

"Nani?" I asked her blankly. "Who was talking about suicide?"

"Why you were, of course!" She made a note on the pad on her desk.

I shook my head. "I don't want to kill myself. Stop thinking that. I meant that people in my life were giving me problems. It seems *everything* makes me mad these days."

She folded her hands on her desk. "Is there one main person that does that to you? Or is it a lot of people?"

"There is one main person. His name is Kakarotto, but everyone calls him Son Goku. That man is a complete bakayaro!"

"What does Kakarotto do that irritates you?"

"He exists for one." I smirked. "Don't tell this to anyone, but he's more powerful than me and I don't like that."

She blinked and pushed her glasses up higher on the bridge of her nose. "I see. Powerful in what sense?"

"I'm talking warrior-wise onna! His ki is higher than mine!"

She stood and walked over to the window. "It seems to me that you resent his power. But you don't have to do that. You are powerful in your own way."

I jumped to my feet. "No. You don't understand. I am Saiya-jin no Oui! I should be the most powerful by default! That baka is the product of two third-class Saiya-jin."

"Saiya-jin no Oui?" She looked at me. "Vegeta-san, you don't have to trap yourself in a fantasy world to escape the harshness of reality. The world isn't so bad overall."

"Onna, what don't you understand? I am a king!" I slammed my fist down on her thick maple desk. I fell apart in two pieces.

"Oh!" She jumped away and began to speak *very* quickly. "Now Vegeta-san, here's what you need to do. It seems to me that you are very stressed and just need a vacation before you return to society. You and this Kakarotto person have issues so he should come along."

"Now," she shooed me towards the exit. "Please leave."

I stared at the shut door for a moment. "What a strange onna."

***

I spent the rest of the afternoon at the mall searching for a new Rock t-shirt. I will never forgive Bulma for burning it to ashes in the first place, but at least can replace it.

The minute I got home, however, my calm was destroyed by a crisis.

"That brat stole my CD player!" Trunks shouted at Bra as he chased her around the living room. "Give it back to me!"

"I don't have it Niichan! Why don't you look some more?" She hide behind me and used me as a living shield. I though it was smart. Trunks knew better than to hit me.

"You have it, brat!" He growled at her. "Who else would?"

Picking up Bra, I began to climb the stairs. "Follow me."

We eventually ended up and my room. I placed Bra on the bed, opened the closet door, and rummaged around. In a minute I found what I was looking for.

"Is this it?" I deposited the CD player into Trunks' hands.

"Oh." He smiled at Bra. "I guess you didn't have it after all."

"Baka," she snorted. "I told you."

"But why do you have it, Papa?" He asked. "You don't own any CDs."

"The onna took it. She said since she paid for it, she didn't have to ask. That was what she was using to play her self-improvement tapes. You know? The ones that keep me awake at night?" A thought just occurred to me. "Where is she anyway?"

"Kaasan said that she had a business meeting," Trunks informed me. "She also said that we had to fend for ourselves. That includes food."

I groaned. "Not again! Why does she do these things?"

"Have you ever thought that she was trying to teach you something?" Bra asked. "Like how to survive on your own. She does that to us."

"That because you two are kids! I'm a grown man!"

Trunks smirked. "A grown man who can't cook, wash clothes, or even make his bed! You're no better than Bra." He earned a kick from her for his trouble.

"What do you two want to eat?" I asked. I was feeling nice.

"Curry!" Bra shouted.

"I want Teriyaki!" Her brother shouted even louder.

They would pick fairly complicated dishes, now wouldn't they?

I cleared my thoughts and got both of their attention. "Pizza it is then."

"That sounds good!" They agreed in unison.


	4. A Month in the Life of Vegeta, Part 2

**~ **Week Two, Part A~****

**Monday:**

It took Bulma seven hours to pack for the trip. It took me only thirty minutes. I mean, how many outfits does she need? I know she's going to buy a whole lot of crap in Europe anyway. That's just more stuff to take home.

"Are you almost ready to leave Bra?" I asked. The onna made me do it. She said that if you didn't ask her at least every ten minutes, she'll take forever. I could say the same thing about her.

"Just about," she grunted. I pushed the door open to see what the hell was going on.

There sat Bra, on top of a bulging suitcase, trying to close it. But the girl just didn't weight enough.

"Let me do it," I told her as I shut it easily. I also lifted it and took it from her room so that Bulma could encapsulate it. She said that she didn't trust the airlines not to lose her luggage. "Is your brother finished?"

Bra nodded. "He was done last night. I was, too, until I remembered that I didn't pack my swimsuit."

"Your mother is currently deciding that one outfit needs to be exchanged for another." I rolled my eyes exasperation. "Onnas!"

"Hey!" Bra frowned at me. "I'm one too, you know."

"Not yet."

"Anyway," She followed me to Bulma's lab. "Trunks told me to tell you that he would be over Goten-niichan's house until it was time to leave."

I frowned. "Why?"

Smiling mysteriously, she said, "I can't tell you, but I know you won't like it."

That made me a little afraid. Now I know what you're all thinking, 'Vegeta, the strongest Saiya-jin warrior in the universe, afraid?!' But when it came to Goten and his insane family, fear wasn't a big deal.

Bra, again, is too intelligent and perceptive for her own good. She read the look on my face and patted my hand. "It'll be okay Papa."

After Bulma took care of her luggage, she placed all of the capsules into the case and stuck them into her pocket. Then she grabbed this huge carry-on bag and her car keys.

"What's in that thing?" I asked.

"My laptop, my makeup, a book, some stuff for Bra to do so she won't drive me crazy, your blood pressure medication, aspirin for the headaches I'm sure you'll give me..."

"Okay! You didn't have to add that last part."

She just grinned at me. "Well, you asked."

After Bulma unencapsulated the car we were off. Luckily the airport was only about four miles away.

Once inside the airport, we spotted our gate and headed toward it. I just had to look at all of the people in that place. Weird people, foreign people, short people, tall people; it was a regular mixture of ningen.

It was making me feel a little crowded. I mean, on Vegeta-sei the population was so small that we were only occupying less than 25% of the entire planet area. On Chikyuu they seemed these humans wanted to inhabit every single available area until there were even millions of people living in Antarctica. They multiply like rabbits. On Vegeta-sei, the mating cycle was only every seven years. We never felt the least bit overcrowded.

The flight to Paris, France was not as crowded as the concourse and the ticket areas. We found four seats together, not that it really mattered to me, and prepared to wait a while. Bulma herded us out of the house *way* too early.

"Konnichi-wa!" Came a voice from over to my far left. I barely gave it a second thought. Then something inside of me said to look in that direction.

The site that greeted me was bad. No, make that TERRIBLE. When Bra said that I wouldn't like it, she was understating the situation. I HATE IT!

Kakarotto, his youngest brat, and the loud demon of an onna brought all sorts of luggage to our area. ChiChi shouted and threatened a few people and they got three seats behind us. My back was actually touching Kakarotto's, if you ignored the chair backs between us. Thank Kami for hard plastic.

I glared at his family and then turned that look to Bulma. She kept on smiling. Then I bodily dragged her off away from them so I could ask her a question.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Maybe I was a little bit too loud because half the people clustered around the gate turned to look at me.

She pursed her lips, frowned, and just glared right back. I thought she didn't hear me. So I asked her again.

"I *told* you that you were going to give me a headache, Vegeta!"

"Well you shouldn't have invited those bakas along!"

"Papa," Trunks tried to use that sorrowful tone of voice. If you're over ten, it doesn't work anymore. "Goten's my best-friend. Can we *please* take him and Goku-san along?"

The insane onna cleared her throat pointedly.

"And ChiChi-san," he tacked on at the end.

I kept right on glaring at each and every one of them and realized that no matter what I said, they were going to come along anyway. Finally I gave up and sat down."Forget it."

Both Bra and Trunks grinned and then decided to hug me. The girl on my neck, the boy around my waist. I shook them off.

"No touchy feely crap in public!"

"Aw, Vegeta," Kakarotto said. "Lighten up!"

I chose to remain silent and settled back into my chair. I'm going to ignore everyone until we arrive in France.

***

Plane trips are boring. I mean, *really* boring. It was around nine hours long and Bra got bored easily. For some odd reason she asks me the most questions when she's bored.

"Papa? What happened when you were on Vegeta-sei?" She asked this from my lap. Bulma sat on my right because she wanted the window seat. Trunks was sharing with Goten and Kakarotto and his onna were far, far behind me. Thank Kami for small miracles. Bra had to sit next to someone that she didn't even know across the aisle.

"What do you mean?" I didn't know what she wanted me to tell her. Most of it, in Bulma's opinion, was too horrible for her tender ears.

"What was your papa like? And your kaasan? What do princes do?"

I carefully considered my words since I noticed that Bulma was listening in. I guess she was curious because I had never told her any of this before. But then again, she never asked me.

"Well Bra, for once my father was sort of cold. But he was that way to everyone. Since he was the king, he had a lot of stuff to do so I never really saw him a lot. My mother.... I never knew her. There were all kinds of rumors going around about what happened to her. They usually included death. Some said that she died giving birth to me and others say that my father killed her."

Bra eyes got wide. "Are you serious? Why would your father do that?"

"He was Saiya-jin," I said simply. "We aren't usually known for our kindness."

"But you're nice," she told me. "I heard that you didn't used to be."

Bulma decided to butt in. "Oh he wasn't. He originally came to Chikyuu to kill all of us for the dragonballs. Starting with Son-kun of course."

"And I'm still not immortal."

"What's so good about being immortal?" Bra asked me. "You'll just keep on living and everyone you love would die."

"At the time, I only wanted to be the strongest in the universe. If I had eternity to train, I would be. Being the strongest is still important, but not as much as it was then."

"What about my third question? What did you have to do since you were a prince?"

"I mostly trained with Nappa and Raditzu. Since I was royalty, I couldn't mix with the other brats. My father told me all the time about how Vegeta-sei would be all mine one day and how I was destined to be the Legendary Super Saiya-jin." I turned slightly to glare at the unaware Kakarotto. The bane of my existence. "My planet got blown up and we all know how the second one turned out. Even though Brolli's really the Legendary one, Kakarotto gets all of the credit."

"What about Furiza?"

I blinked. "What about him?"

"I know he was the one to destroy your planet, but why did he do it? No one told me that."

"When I was six years old, I begged Furiza for something to do. He brought me on his ship and told me that there was a planet that needed to be taken care of. My father, along with some of his men, came onto the ship to get me and Furiza killed them all. At the time, I didn't know. Later that day, Furiza blew up the planet. It was because he was afraid that one day a Super Saiya-jin would be born and kill him. Turns out he was right.

"But the best part about being a prince," I gave Bra one of my rare smiles, "is being able to order everyone around."

She grinned. "Yep!"

***

When we landed, I was confused. I mean, the time difference is odd. We had left in the morning our time and arrived late night/early morning at around one a.m. To us, it wasn't even midnight of the next day. To everyone else in the city, it was two hours after yesterday. When the sun rose, it would be like repeating the day all over again.

We were all wide awake and bored. I mean, after you unpack what else is there to do?

I tried watching French television, but I couldn't understand a word of what anyone said. After a while Bulma took pity on me and gave me a translation dictionary. What good was it going to do if they're speaking so fast you can't look anything up?

Bulma went around handed everyone a copy of her itinerary for this city. We were going to at least three different countries to teach me how to relax. The Eiffel Tower was on the list as well as the Notre-Dame and other places.

The onna had paid for three bedrooms. Goten and Trunks in one, ChiChi and Kakarotto in another, and unfortunately that put Bra in our suite. Pan should have gotten brought along just so she would have her to talk to instead of me.

"Ooh Papa!" Bra exclaimed as she stood in front of the open window. The sun was rising.

I wasn't impressed. "Yeah? So?"

"So?! I never saw the sun rise before! Have you?"

I snorted. "Plenty of times. It's nothing special."

She sighed. "I don't know why I bother sometimes."

"You sound like your mother. It's enough that you look like her, but do you have to talk like her, too?"

She turned back towards the window. "Whatever."

"Veggie-chan!" Bulma sang as she stepped into the sitting room from our bedroom. "I'm ready!" She was dressed in this long, loose neon green dress with a large and floppy straw hat complete with a matching green and red ribbon. Even her pursed matched her outfit! Both Bra and I just stared at her.

"Once you get dressed, we can go," I told her. That wiped the smile right off of her face.

"Nani?"

I motioned at her. "You look like a tourist!"

She blinked, a little confused. "I am a tourist."

"Kaasan! You're not supposed to act like it!" Bra began to walk as if she was some French model on the runway. Swinging her hips and all that. "You're supposed to act like you belong here. Like you come here every single week."

I pointed to my conservative (and normal) jeans and tee-shirt. I had even forgone the gloves and boots. "At least dress like a sane person."

"You mean like you?" She put a hand on her hip. "Mr. Spandex Man!"

"Hey! I'm not wearing spandex now!"

Bra pulled a pad from her pocket and wrote something on it in blue ink. It made me curious.

"What's that?"

"It's my notepad for recording every fight that you have. The counselor at school said it was therapeutic."

"This isn't a fight Bra," Bulma said in a soothing tone. "It's an argument."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Argument, fight, whatever. You have so many, there has to be a world record in there somewhere. I'm going to write to the Guinness people."

I cross my arms across my chest. "Are we going to leave anytime soon?" I felt a slight tugging on my shirt. Bra looked up at me with huge, puppy eyes and held out her right hand. Sighing, I took it in my left one. She did the same to Bulma who obliged with a slight smile.

"Let's go!" She chirped brightly. I was less enthusiastic.

***

We met the others in the lobby to decide where to go for breakfast. I selected the hotel buffet. At least there would be enough food. The onnas could choose dinner.

I got a little bit of everything on three starter plates. I could always go back for more. That was the most perfect part of all, the hotel never seemed to run out. Kakarotto actually became full and it was miraculous. And, even though he would complain of hunger only a few hours from now, life was good.

Outside of the hotel, Bulma and ChiChi were studying this big ass map while the rest of us looked around at the scenery. Bra and Kakarotto watched the people drive by on the street while Trunks and Goten were checking out the girls. Since it was hot outside, there was a lot of flesh to see.

After about a minute of this, I began to get bored. I mean, couldn't we just get a cab and tell the driver where to go? So I suggested it to them.

"What a good idea, Vegeta!" Bulma said sarcastically. "We can ask them in our broken French and end up somewhere entirely different than were we want to be!"

I glared at her. "Proper nouns are the same in every language onna! You just tell the driver Eiffel Tower and we'll get there!" I stepped out into the middle of the street and began to wave my arms, trying to hail a cab.

"Are you insane?!" She screamed at me as she tried to pull me back onto the curb. The cars all came to a stop and began to honk their horns at me. Bulma clutched my arm tighter and her eyes snapped shut.

"It's okay, onna. They're not going to hit us. They couldn't kill me anyway." I motioned for the others to follow me and we got one cab while Kakarotto and his family got the other.

I turned to the driver once I got the front seat. "Eiffel Tower."

" _Oui Monsieur._ "

I smirked at Bulma. "Now, wasn't that simple?"

"Oh, shut up."

The ride took only a few minutes. I used the time to try and think up a way to convince Bulma I was having 'fun' so she wouldn't bug me about it.

As we piled out of the cab, the man made a noise and pointed to the meter. The numbers 62.16 were clear on the display.

"Bulma," I said to her, "pay the man."

She reached into her purse for her wallet and pulled out a few yen.

"No yen, onna, francs." Then it occurred to me. "Did you forget to change your money over?"

She blushed and nodded. "Hai."

I tried to think. How much would 62.26 be in yen? Before I could say a word, Bra spoke up.

"Kaasan, that's 1515.68 yen."

We all looked at her in shock. That girl was already a living calculator and now she's a currency converter.

She just smiled at us. "It's a little talent I have."

***

The tower was okay. It was as standard as towers go, and that includes Tokyo Tower.

The one most interesting thing was all of the signs that said in a multitude of languages "Do not drop items from tower!" That tempted me to do it just to see what would happen.

"I see you eyeing that sign Vegeta," ChiChi said in a disapproving tone. I don't think I told her how much I hated her lately.

"I'm not one of your brats, onna."

"I don't care! You shouldn't disobey rules!"

I turned my back to her. "But what *would* happen if I dropped, say an American half-dollar from this height?"

"You would kill someone," Bra told me.

"Really?"

She nodded. "At this height that coin would pick up so much speed that when it hit someone, probably in the head, it would kill them instantly."

I grinned slowly. "Sugoi!"

"That was not permission to do something stupid Vegeta!" It was Bulma who yelled at me this time.

I mock pouted. "But it would be fun!"

"I swear," she sighed, "you're like a child sometimes. What kind of example do you want to set for Bra and Trunks?"

"Like I've said a thousand times, Trunks is beyond saving." I glanced over to where he and Goten were playing pranks on unsuspecting tourists. "And Bra knows how to make her own decisions."

"I guess you're right. But it's pretty strange having a four year old who knows more than your average adult."

***

We spent more hours viewing the sights of Paris until finally it was dinner time. The onnas picked a place was high class. *Very* high class.

The man at the little podium thing led us to a table in the middle of the restaurant and handed us menus. I would have preferred one in the back. Bulma smiled and thanked him while we all took seats.

"You three better not cause any trouble," She glared at Goten, Trunks and me in turn. "I don't want to be embarrassed."

"What about tousan?" Goten whined. "You didn't look at him that way!"

"Fine," ChiChi rolled her eyes. "Goku-sa, behave."

"In other words," I said in mock sweetness to him, "chew before you swallow."

" _Vous-avez choisi?_ " That waiter just appeared so fast, I'm sure no one noticed him. I did, of course.

Bulma nodded. " _Oui._  I'll have  _le poulet potage_  to start."

He nodded and wrote it down. " _Et te, Madame_ _?_ "

ChiChi looked at her menu and then tapped Bulma. "How the hell do you say this stuff?" I heard her clearly all the way on the other side of the table. I'm sure that everyone else heard her too.

"Just get  _le grillé agneau_. It's really good."

Kakarotto's mate nodded and then completely butchered the words. "Just get me the lay grill-ay and-yo."

The waiter made a sour face at her pronunciation but wrote it down anyway. He then proceeded to take Trunks and Goten's orders. They both wanted the house special. Kakarotto wanted one of everything and Bra (in French that was, of course, excellent) ordered something that I think was steak. Then it was my turn.

"I want five plates of es-car-got. I'm not that hungry."

Bulma and Bra's mouths dropped open.

"Papa!" Bra blinked at me. "Are you sure you want that?"

I nodded. "Of course I'm sure! Why wouldn't I be? I know how to order my food."

"But Veggie-chan!" Bulma said. "That's-"

"I know what it is." I waved the waiter away.

"Good choice, _Monsieur_ _._ They are especially plump this year."

"You can speak English?" ChiChi asked him.

"But of course,  _Madame_ _._ " The onna then proceeded to tell him off.

"You had me making a fool of myself when I can't even pronounce anything on the menu!"

" _S'excuser, Madame_ _._  It will not happen again."

She crossed her arms. "I should hope not."

It took half an hour for the food to arrive. During that time I had a pretty interesting conversation with my daughter and she taught me a few French words that I didn't know. When our waiter finally placed the dishes onto the table, it could barely hold everything. They had to bring in extra carts for Kakarotto to put his plates on.

I lifted the dome thing over my plate and found something underneath that I wasn't expecting. I looked at it from different angles and still couldn't figure out what it was.

So I poked it with my index finger.

"Vegeta, are you playing with your food?" Kakarotto was amused, I could tell.

"Iie, bakayaro." I whispered to him. "I'm trying to figure out what it is."

He smiled. "That's easy."

"Oh? Then what is it?"

"Snails."

I just looked at him for a moment. "What do you mean, snails?"

"That's what  _escargot_  are!"

I didn't believe him, not for a second. "Bra," I poked her in the side, "what are _escargot_?"

"Snails," she said simply before popping a french fry into her mouth.

"Damn Kakarotto, you're actually right."

His smile turned into a wide grin. "Of course I'm right. I'm a master of food!"

"Of that, I have no doubt."

***

The day ended sometime around eight for us. Those extra hours took their toll on us and we were dead tired. I sent Bra off to bed with a goodnight kiss and a little reading from " _The Joy of Physics_ " and crawled into bed next to Bulma.

"Vegeta," she said, "are you tired?"

"As a matter of fact, hai."

She kissed my closed eyelids. "Are you tired now?"

"Hai."

She kissed my nose. "Are you tired now?"

"The answer is still, hai."

Then she moved lower, completely bypassed my mouth, and disappeared under the sheets. I tensed up.

"Are you tired now?" Came her muffled voice.

"Hai." I lifted the covers to see her expression. She was pouting. "But you aren't so keep on doing what you were before."

She laughed and kissed me again. "Ai shiteru, Vegeta-chan."

"Ai shiteru, Bulma."

* * *

**Tuesday:**

Bright and early the next morning, I awoke and stretched. Glancing at Bulma, I noticed how peaceful she looked.

I loved her when she was awake, but I loved her even more when she was asleep and quiet. But I had to wake her or her schedule would be ruined. Then she would really make some noise.

"Bulma, wake up." I shook her as gently as I could. She grunted slightly and rolled over. That was the only reaction I got. So I picked her up and walked over to the bathroom. It was cruel, I admit it. But it was oh so fun!

After standing her up in the shower, I turned the cold water on full force. She woke up then, sputtering.

"What's going on?!"

I laughed and cut the water off. "You were sleeping too late."

"What time is it? Noon?"

"Six."

"As in six in the morning?!" She pushed her wet bangs out of her eyes.

"Yes, six in the morning."

"And you say I was sleeping too late?!"

I opened the bathroom door. "I'll go wake up Bra."

"Wait a minute," She grabbed my arm. "Shower with me."

"But what about Bra? You know if she's late you're going to throw a fit."

"I don't throw fits."

"Well, not as bad as ChiChi but still..."

She grabbed me by a very sensitive object and pulled me towards her. I didn't resist.

"Now, come on! Shower with me!" She squeezed.

I don't know if it was supposed to hurt, because it generated quite the opposite effect. If she was going to do more of that, of course I would shower with her.

Anything to please Bulma... and to get her to do more of this.

***

For the second, and final, day we were in France, Bulma decided to let us choose what we wanted to do. I didn't care, Kakarotto wanted to do something fun, and Goten and Trunks were still on 'babe watch'.

"What about a carnival or something Bulma?" Kakarotto asked her. He had this pathetic hopeful look on his face.

Bra smiled and nodded. "What about it, Kaasan? That or an amusement park. It would be fun! Right, Trunks?"

The boy kept right on looking at some blond girl. She stomped on his foot to get his attention.

"Right, Trunks?" she asked louder.

"Um, right?" He had this blank look on his face. Then he blushed when he realized what he had been doing and elbowed Goten.

"Whatever." The onna rolled her eyes. "An amusement park it is, then."

The theme park was noisy and crowded and irritating. The temperature was about ninety and it was like everyone decided that today was the best day to visit Happy World.

The tickets cost around 207 francs for each adult ticket. Bra's was only 103. So Bulma spent 1552 on tickets alone. They had special group rates but that was only for ten or more people.

We waited in line at the ticket booth for an hour because Bulma forgot to buy the tickets at the hotel.

"What does everyone want to ride first?" she asked after we were on the midway surrounded by gift shops, rigged games, and screaming children.

Everyone except me had maps of the park and were studying them intently.

The park was divided into four sections: Fantasy Land, Sci-Fi Land, Horror Land, and Kiddie Land. Of course everyone wanted to go in separate directions.

"Wait a minute!" Bulma shouted above the noise. "Trunks and Goten, you're both old enough to go without parental supervision."

Before she could even finish her sentence, they were almost out of sight.

"But, you have to meet us at the eating area in Fantasy Land around noon, alright?"

"Hai, Kaasan!" "Hai, Bulma-obaasan!" Trunks and Goten chorused in unison before they disappeared entirely.

"Bye Kaasan and Tousan!" This was from Goten alone.

"Now, where are we going to go...first?" She began but immediately noticed that Kakarotto had disappeared.

"Where did Son-kun go?"

ChiChi shrugged. "He mumbled something about cotton candy."

"Oh well. He can find us later."

"How about you and I head off to a little place on Parent's Island?" She pointed it out to Bulma on the map. "There's karaoke bar there."

"Oh!" Bulma smiled. "I love karaoke! Come on ChiChi!" Then she grabbed Kakarotto's mate by the hand and dragged her off down the pathway.

This left me alone with Bra.

"So, " she said while looking around.

"So, what?" I asked while wondering what she was getting at.

"Where do you want to go?"

I walked over to a dark green painted bench and sat down. "I'm staying right here."

I guess that was the cue for her to turn on the waterworks because Bra started crying right there in front of me and everyone else.

"PAPA! I WANNA GO ON RIDES!!" People were stopping just to stare or see how I would handle my daughter's temper tantrum.

"Go on them by yourself."

She wailed for a few minutes longer and then she just stopped. "Please can we go on some rides?"

"Are you going to stop crying like someone's murdering you?"

She nodded. "Hai."

"And you'll obey every word I say?"

She nodded again. "Within reason."

I stood up and took her hand. Hey, that answer was good enough for me.

***

There was this one roller coaster that I wanted to go on, but Bra didn't. The Creature was made of dark green steel and it was the fastest, and tallest, one in the entire park. I thought it was worth at least one ride.

At the end of the queue there was a sign that said "You must be this tall to ride this ride!" with a monster holding his hand outward. Bra came pretty much below the one-hundred and sixty-eight centimeter mark (five foot six). I was around a half an inch above.

"I wonder how we can convince the ningen up there to let you ride anyway." If worse came to worse, there were always threats.

"Are you really going to hold my hand?" she asked with a frightened look on her face.

"I can't do that. You sit in seats in one line and you'll be strapped in tightly. It's because there are loops."

That just made the look worse. "Papa!"

"It'll be okay! You need to learn how to be brave. I was when I fought Furiza." I thought a little reminder on how tough I was couldn't hurt.

She gave a small smile. "Okay."

The line moved so slowly I felt like grabbing Bra and cutting at least twenty people. The only good thing was that ten people could ride on each trip. After twenty more minutes we were finally the next ones in line.

Bra gulped very loudly and held me around my leg even tighter than before. She watched the people pull out and then saw them go through a series steep drops, loops, and corkscrews all at around eighty-five miles per hour. Two and a half minutes later it was our turn.

"Sir, your daughter is too short to ride. How about taking her to Kiddie Land?"

"Look human, I want to ride this ride. *Bra* wants to ride this ride." Bra nodded hesitantly. "So we're going to ride this ride."

"She doesn't look like she wants to ride."

I glared at him. "And you need to mind your own business."

"Fine," he shrugged, "if she gets hurt don't blame me. But you can't sue the theme park for any injuries."

"Papa!" Bra's scared look intensified.

I patted her on the head and tried to calm her down. "Nothing's going to happen to you, alright? Remember what's in your blood."

She took a deep breath and nodded as she got into a seat. When she was out of hearing range, I punched the operator in the stomach. Not very hard, but enough to get the point across.

"Don't ever tell her something like that again or I'll do worse things to you."

Bra had taken a seat in front of me and I helped her get strapped in properly. Then I took my place and waited for some fun to actually begin.

***

"Are you okay, Papa?" Bra called from outside. "I mean, you've been in there for like five minutes!"

I stood up from my doubled over position in front of the toilet. I am *never* riding that stupid roller coaster again!

I was alright until the second series of loops and stuff. I don't know what the hell happened after that. Bra was shrieking and laughing at the same time and here I am with my eyes clenched shut wishing that the world would stop spinning. She had to help me to the bathroom.

I washed my hands and splashed some cold water on my face. I'm just glad no one saw that besides strangers. When I exited the men's room I spoke too soon because Goten and Trunks were standing just outside.

"Papa, what happened to you?" He was eating a large tub of cheese fries. I prayed to Kami that I could ignore the smell of them. Goten had an ice cream cone.

I refused to tell them. It was none of their business.

"You'd probably think that he's weak," Bra commented. "He doesn't want that." She does know me well.

"Naw, I won't think that. He's mortal just like the rest of us."

"No matter how much he hates it," Goten added.

"Papa got sick when we got off The Creature."

I could tell they thought she was joking. It was still unbelievable to me. Me, the mighty Saiya-jin no Ouji, getting sick from a roller coaster ride. It was just plain sad.

Trunks looked at me and a stray breeze brought the smell of his food closer. "Are you alright?" He said after a while.

I nodded, unable to speak. If I did, I don't know what would come out. And I'm not just talking about words.

Goten came closer too. "You don't look alright."

I opened my mouth to tell him to shut up and had to cover it as I once again pushed everyone out of the way and dashed for a stall.

"We don't tell *anyone* about this, okay? He wouldn't like it." I heard Bra speak right before I entered, but I didn't hear what the other two said.

***

When lunch came I was basically okay. I mean, I had Bra tell me the truth whether I looked too pale or not. I didn't want *anyone* making comments about it. The picnic area was crowded, but the onnas had saved two green-topped tables with matching green-topped attached benches next to some plants. There was even a matching green and white umbrella through a hole in each table. The food lines were so long that I pushed my way to the front with Bra.

"I had so much fun!" Bulma said cheerfully as she dipped a fry in ketchup. "ChiChi and I went to that karaoke place and she looked so funny up there on the stage."

ChiChi frowned. "You didn't look too great yourself."

"But at least I didn't have to look at the words on the screen."

"Anyway," ChiChi changed the subject, "Goku-sa where did you go?"

"First I got some cotton candy and then I rode the Bumper Cars with Goten and Trunks. Then I got on the Ferris Wheel and the Merry-Go-Round."

"You rode all of the sissy rides, Kakarotto," I informed him.

"Oh really? What did you go on?"

"The Creature," I said proudly. He didn't have to know what happened after I got off of it.

His eyes lit up. "Wow! That's the one I always hear people talking about. They even have t-shirts that say: 'I rode The Creature and survived!' "

"I went on it too!" Bra spoke up. I guess she didn't want to be left out of the conversation.

"Nani?!" Bulma's eyes opened wide. "You did?!" Then she turned to me. "Vegeta, you let your four-year-old daughter ride that roller coaster?"

I nodded. "Hai. But she had fun so..."

"That's not the point! How the hell was she able to get on anyway? She's only four-and-a-half feet tall!"

I waved my hand in a dismissive air. "It's all in the past. Now, what is everyone going to do after lunch?"

She didn't have time to question me further because everyone's conversations stopped as they absorbed my question.

"Why do you care?" ChiChi asked.

"Yeah, Veggie, it's not like you to ask." Kakarotto commented.

I wanted to kill him for calling me that but I plastered a fake smile on my face. "I was just curious, Ka- er Goku. Is that so wrong?"

They all nodded, even Bra. "Coming from you, it sounds *very* wrong." This was from Trunks.

I snorted. "Well, excuse me then!"

"I'm going to go with Papa for the rest of the day, okay Kaasan?" Bra asked.

She nodded. "Fine with me. ChiChi and I were bonding anyway."

"In-between the stupid comments about my singing," ChiChi growled.

"I'm coming with you guys too!" Kakarotto's grin stretched from ear-to-ear. "Maybe I'll ride some roller coasters."

"Oh, joy," I said in monotone, "Kakarotto is coming with us. Oh, happy day." Secretly I was scared he would see my little motion sickness problem. It was bad enough that Bra did and Trunks and Goten heard about it.

"I'm going to ignore the way you said that because I know deep down inside you're overjoyed," he told me. If he only knew the truth...

***

"What about this one, Papa?" Bra pointed to another roller coaster. We were in Sci-Fi Land this time.

I shook my head. Still too many loops. I pointed to another ride not that far away. "How about those?"

Both Bra and Kakarotto made faces. "The Flying Saucers?" she asked incredulously.

I didn't think they were so bad. It was like the Teacup ride at Disneyland. But they were safe. That's all that mattered.

"And you said that *I* rode the sissy rides." Kakarotto smiled at me.

I growled. "Bakayaro! Upside down rides make me nauseous! That's all! It's not that I'm scared or anything."

He blinked once and then blinked again. "Are you serious?" I just stared at him. "Nevermind. You're always serious."

I folded my arms. "It's just something that I found out today. I ran straight to the bathroom after I got off The Creature."

"Well, we don't have to go on that kind of roller coaster. We can go on The Flying Saucers. They look fun!" He smiled and it made me feel a little better about everything. I would never admit this to anyone, but Kakarotto was a pretty good person to have around. He puts fun into everything.

By the end of the day, we had rode almost all of the rides and tried almost all of the games at least once. We had also won tons of stuff that we would have to take home later.

Kakarotto said that he was taking all of his toys home to Pan. That little girl was already spoiled by him. My stuff was going all to Bra. Again, another little girl that's spoiled rotten. But I can't help it and neither can Kakarotto. There's just something about those kids.

Bra was the happiest that I'd seen her in a while. She was constantly smiling and skipping around Kakarotto and I. She was also talking a mile a minute.

"Where are we going tomorrow? Is it a zoo? Or a movie? Or another country? I would love to go to another country! How about Germany or Great Britain? Oh! How about the United States? I wanna see New York so bad!"

"Calm down Bra-chan!" Kakarotto laughed.

I mock frowned. "It looks like someone ate too much sugary stuff today."

"What do you mean Papa?" She couldn't stand still. Even now she was bouncing in place. "I'm not hyper!" Then she yawned widely and sort of slumped. I handed all of our stuff to Kakarotto and picked her up.

"The day caught up with you, finally."

She blinked sleepily at me. "I'm not hyper."

"Not any more anyway." She started to say something else but she fell asleep before they came out.

"You're so nice to her," the king of bakas said to me. We were almost to the front gate.

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, it's just that I thought I would never see you nice to anyone. I mean, the only reason you came to Chikyuu was for immortality."

I shrugged as best I could without waking Bra. "I can't have my wish, you people won't let me. A Saiya-jin has got to find alternate happiness."

I saw the others waiting for us at the gate. Bulma was checking her watch periodically.

"I'm glad what you chose wasn't wrong. Like blowing up planets or torturing ningen."

I smirked. "After a while, that would get boring. And I would run out of planets to destroy and people to kill. The universe only has so many."

He gave me a look similar to ChiChi's at Eiffel Tower. "You've really thought a lot about this, haven't you?"

I shook my head. "You would think so, wouldn't you?"

Bulma frowned when she saw us. "You're late."

"Well, sorry!" I said sarcastically. "My bad."

"Anyway, we have to get some sleep. We're going to Britain tomorrow."

"Bra'll be happy. She wanted to go."

"And this time there will be *no* amusement parks." She was still mad about The Creature. I can tell.


	5. A Month in the Life of Vegeta, Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Week Two, Part B is sort of... missing. Sorry.

**Week Three**

Our vacation was pretty good overall. We got to see famous places in the world and had fun doing it. Now it was back to ordinary life.

"PAPA!" Bra screamed as she ran through the house towards my bedroom. I caught her as she flew through the doorway and picked her up.

"What is it?"

"Look at this!" She held a flyer in her small fist. "It says that there is going to be a film festival."

"Yeah, so?"

"The first prize is a All You Can Eat at a restaurant in town. For a year."

My eyes lit up. "A year of not having to eat Bulma's cooking?"

She nodded. "A year."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get to it!"

***

She gathered the Baka Squad at my house so we could go over the movie plans. I don't see why they had to be in our movie? They weren't even in our family!

"Now I was thinking about a movie parody," Bra said while tapping a pencil against her cheek. She had taken one the role of director. "Something hilarious. Maybe mock the original."

"How about Pet Cemetery?" Trunks suggested. Everyone rolled their eyes except me. I haven't seen many movies.

"I was thinking Grease."

Trunks' eyes got wide. "A musical? For real?"

What the Hell was a musical? I usually only watched movies when at least one person died or there were a lot of explosions.

"Wait a minute," ChiChi said slowly. "That's a good idea. But who's going to be who?"

"Can I be Sandy? Please?" Bulma asked everyone.

"Sure, Kaasan, why not. But now Papa has to be Danny."

"I didn't say I would be anything!" I protested loudly.

"But Papa, Danny loves Sandy."

"Well," I said. "that's entirely different. I'll be this Danny guy then."

"Okay!" Bra wrote this down on her clipboard. "What about you Goku-san? And ChiChi-san?"

"Goku-sa can be Kenickie. I'll be Rizzo."

She sighed. "We're all out of people and there are still roles to fill. Six more main people. Three men, three women."

"Why don't you ask Gohan and Videl?" Goten suggested. "And Krillin and Juuhachi-gou?"

"And Marron," Trunks said. "So I can be a main character too."

"We need people for crowd scenes and stuff," Bra wrote this down. "Kaasan, when are the costumes supposed to be ready?"

"Wait a minute!" I frowned. "You talk as if you've been planning this for a while."

Bra smiled. "You know how I showed you the poster today?" I nodded. "Well, I saw it last week some time. Before we went on vacation."

Bulma smiled sheepishly. "We, um, already planned on doing this and I ordered the costumes before we left. We just never set the cast. You know the idea of not having to cook for a long, long time appealed to me!"

"Why do we need costumes?"

"You're the leader of the T-Birds, Papa. Do you want to see the movie first *before* you learn your lines. We only have a week."

I was sort of worried about what the movie was about. "No. That's okay." I really didn't want to see what I was getting into. Bra picked up the phone and dialed a number by memory.

"Hi Gohan-san. I have a question for you. Would you and Videl-san like to be in a movie?" She paused for a short while. "Yep. We're filming Grease." She smiled and flashed us a thumbs-up sign. Then she hung up. "They'll be right over." Then she handed the phone to Kakarott. "Now you can call Krillin."

"How long is this supposed to take?" I asked. This movie better not be long...

"Probably all week if we worked nonstop. I wanted to get started earlier but you really needed that vacation."

That was our cue basically. Everyone began to talk and move around the room. "I'll get the video camera!" Goten said cheerfully.

"*You're* the cameraman?" I asked him.

He nodded. "Hai!"

"This movie will be crap."

He pouted. "You really don't mean that, do you Papa Vegeta?"

Papa Vegeta? Where the Hell did that come from? I just shook my head and pretended that I didn't hear him. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Can you go see if the scripts came yet? At the post office."

"Are you going to let me drive your car, onna? I know how you hate it when I 'fly around the city'." I mimicked her perfectly on that last part.

She tossed me the keys. "If you get even one tiny scratch on it, I'm going to hurt you."

"I'd like to see you try." I called to her as I exited through the front door. I don't think she heard me because I didn't receive any further threats.

The house when I returned was nothing but a sea of noise. I mean really, some of them were practicing speech exercises, singing, or just taking to each other. I had to yell at the top of my voice to get Bulma's attention.

"Quiet everyone!" Bra shouted as she stood on the coffee table. I saw Bulma frown in her direction. "The scripts are here. Please come up to the front in your assigned roles. Women go to Kaasan, men go to Papa."

My line was in the order of Kakarott, Trunks, Gohan, and Krillin while Bulma's was ChiChi, Marron, Videl, and Juuhachi-gou.

"In addition to your director, I will also be your dance coordinator."

Wait a minute, *dance* coordinator?! "What are you talking about? Why do we need to dance?"

"It's a musical, Vegeta." Bulma said. "In a musical you sing and dance."

I knew I was going to hate this. I just knew it!

"How much do I have to sing?"

"You're the lead. Most of the time."

I'm going to hate this. I will be the laughing stock of this city. But then the mere thought of professionally made food made me continue with this.

"All right, the costumes are here!" Bulma said from the front door. "If someone will just help me with this box, we'll be all set." Since Kakarott was closer to her I let him handle it. I sat down on the couch and sighed.

"It's not going to be that bad, Papa." Bra said to me. "You'll have fun. Just like you did on our trip."

"Shhhh," I whispered to her. "Don't tell anyone about that."

"Okay."

***

[Here's the cast list so you won't be confused:

Vegeta's Danny with Bulma as Sandy  
Goku's Kenickie with ChiChi as Rizzo  
Trunks is Doody with Marron as Frenchy  
Krillin is Sonny with Juuhachi-gou as Jan  
Gohan is Putzie with Videl as Marty]

We filmed at Orange Star and we got the principal to open the building to us. Bra rounded up a lot of people who wanted to be extras and they covered with the school signs with ones that said 'Rydell'. I walked among all of these people who came out for the filming and knew we were going to win first prize. We would beat out anyone else in the surrounding area and be the best at that film festival.

"Actors on the set!" Bra yelled through the bullhorn from her tiny director's chair. I think she looked.... kawaii. Don't tell anyone I thought that. "Cameraman ready?"

"Ready!" Goten said as he steadied in on a tripod.

"Quiet on the set!"

A hush settled over the entire area like a blanket. Even the cars on the street fell silent.

"Action!"

I had memorized the lines for this scene. Since no one really had enough time to learn the whole script at once, we were just learning each scene as we did them. Unfortunately we were still at the beginning.

'Putzie', 'Doody', and 'Sonny' walked up the pathway while all those extras Bra had hired for one-hundred yen a scene milled around having pretend conversations. Putzie and Doody were tossing Sonny's 'lunch' back-and-forth between them. Sonny pushed Putzie but since there were no bushes lining the path, he just fell onto grass.

Doody: Hey, you're not supposed to eat this. You're supposed to bury it.

Sonny: Hey! That's a homemade lunch!

They continued to talk a bit more until they saw Kakarott, er Kenickie, push some nerdy kids out of his way. I could see that he looked uncomfortable playing a bully.

Sonny, Putzie, and Doody: Kenickie! Kenickie!

They crowded around him.

Kenickie: Hey! Where you at?

Putzie: (laughing) We're right here! So where were you all summer?

Keneckie: What are you? My mother?

Putzie: I was just askin'!

Kenickie: I was workin'.....

Kakarott trailed off and blinked.

"CUT!" Bra shouted. "What's wrong Goku-san?"

He smiled sheepishly. "I forgot my line."

Everyone groaned. Bra walked up to him a showed him the script.

"It's 'I was workin' which is more than any of you skids can say'. Alright?"

He nodded. "I got it. But can I just glance at the script one more time? I don't wanna mess up anymore."

"C'mon Goku!" Bulma said. "We're not even up to me entrance!"

He did 'glance' over it really quick, saying the words silently to himself. "Okay."

Bra went back to her chair. "Quiet on the set!" She paused. "Lights, camera, action!"

Kenickie: I was workin' which is more than any of you skids can say.

Sonny: Workin'?

Kenickie: That's right. I was luggin' boxes at Bargain City, moron. I'm saving up to get me some wheels.

They went through a little more talking and continued to walk towards the entrance where I was waiting.

Everyone: (shouting) Danny! Danny!

I turned around, a disgusting tasting prop cigarette in my mouth, and almost smiled at them.

Sonny: How you doin'?

At least I got to hit someone, namely midget man, when I walked by them to talk to Kakarott.

Kenickie: Hey, you seen any new broads over there?

I thought the look on his face when he said his line was amusing.

"Naw, just the same old chicks."

Doody: So, what did you do all summer, Danny?

"I was hanging down at the beach. You know."

Sonny: It's tough with all those chicks hanging around you.

Putzie: The only thing hangin' around you, Sonny, are the flies.

"Wait a minute. Cut!" Krillin yelled out.

"What is it now?" Bra sighed.

"Does my character always get picked on throughout this entire movie?"

"Not the *entire* movie... Is there a problem?"

"You know what I have to put up with from *some* people." He looked at me when he said this.

I snorted. "I haven't called you cue ball in years."

"That's only because I have hair now!"

"Krillin-san," Bra said patiently. "You are playing a role. Does it matter who says what to you?"

"When you put it that way..."

"Good. Everyone get into character!" She gave us about five seconds to do this. "ACTION!"

Kenickie: How's the action at the beach? Was it crazy?

"It was flippin' "

Kenickie: Yeah?

"There was this one chick..."

Sonny: Yeah? Does she put out?

"Oh come on Sonny! Is that all you ever think about?"

We walked into the building and the camera left us.

"Did I do okay?" Kakarott whispered to me as we walked down the hall to for our next scene.

"Sure. You did fine." I didn't want him getting nervous if I said no and ruining my chance at free food.

"We better get into place before Bra freaks out again," Trunks said as Marron and Bulma walked toward us. The onna smiled at me before she went down the hall to the office where the real principal and secretary were being paid to act.


End file.
